10.10.05

Homesick

I was feeling spontaneous Sunday, especially after I noticed that I’m booked the next two Saturdays which means it’ll be a month with one-day weekends. Preston, this guy that was at my Saturday training and is in Dr. Full of Herself’s class admitted, “ATCP will end your marriage.” I can totally see what he means. Substitute “marriage” with “life” and you pretty much have the topic of conversation amongst all the ATCPers.

We have no lives because we have no time. I’m sure the little time we do get, we run wild . . . like I did Saturday night. I had originally made some plans but they were cancelled. So I was sitting at this here computer typing up an entry for you all when Dan the Man walked into the room and I said, “Hey, you wanna go to the mall?”

“Uh, yeah.”

So we headed out to the mall. It was more of a walking excursion. I don’t normally like malls because they’re crowded and mostly overpriced, but I like walking around and seeing all the crap that I used to be marveled with like the fluorescent lights that make signs for Claire’s and Journey’s. I like walking through Foley’s and Dillard’s knowing that I chose not to buy stuff from there and I love going into Lane Bryant to drool over the jeans that aren’t really made to fit all plus-sized women. Oh yeah, I can’t forget to mention the latest infatuation: baby clothes. I can’t wait until my brother’s baby is born to go on a spending spree for his kid.

Anyway, after the mall, we were heading home when I said, “You know, we should go to Galveston, we’re only like 30 minutes away.”

After some discussion, we decided to head out to Galveston. It was about 9 P.M., and the night was perfect. We walked around on the beach for about an hour and then settled on one of the piers for about fifteen minutes. Only reason we left was because I was freezing my butt off.

It was nice to do something so spontaneous. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to act out on whim like that. In actuality, I don’t think I’ve done anything like that since I lived in El Paso. Since I moved to Houston, my life has been so consumed with “things to do.” It seems like I need to dedicate time to “the future” or “my plan.” When I do get time to do my own thing, I end up vegging out because my brain wants to become this idle mass.

I’ve been feeling really homesick lately. It’s been about eight months since I’ve been to El Chuco. I’ve only seen my mom and one of my nieces since. The others, I only hear glimpses of them on the phone. I can only imagine what the nephews look like now. I could substitute Richard and Kendra’s face on any one of my students. I can’t even begin to imagine how big Little Lyn is and it hurts to think that I won’t get to see my brother’s baby as a newborn.

But I was expecting this. I knew things would change, especially once I got out of college. I also know that from now on, things will only get more complicated. This year won’t be the first that I may not get to see my family for Christmas. But at least I can pacify the craving with some of that El Chuco goodness that Alicia Gaspar de Alba exudes in her writing.

3 comments:

Efrain said...

I think I need to be like you and just do something out of the ordinary. By just reading that part I felt a little free. I want to feel that way again, but I won't get the same feeling re-reading that part. So I have to do something spontaneous like that soon. I'll let you know.

Cracked Chancla said...

aw, browngirl, i hope your feeling better. sounds like you need to take another ride to galveston sooner than you thought.

Vanessa said...

It's so easy to get caught up with deadlines and lesson plans and grading and making dinner and laundry...the list could go on and on. You absolutely have to do little spontaneous things here and there just to shake things up a bit. Thanks for reminding me of how important it is to do something kooky.

It's also important to try and get home pretty regularly. Helps recharge the batteries. And the weather here is perfect ;)