So I'm Thinkin' About Forgiveness

Even though Jorge was the baby boy of the family, I always had a sense that there was something off between Dad and Jorge.

I remember when I was about four or five the police was called at two in the morning because in a drunken rage, Dad had taken the mattress Jorge was sleeping on and had flipped it with Jorge still on it.

The Safety Dance

The summer my mom botched her pacemaker battery replacement surgery I stayed in El Paso for six weeks. That's the longest I have ever stayed there since moving away for college in 2002. 

Paying It Forward

There isn't anything specific Jorge did like serving at a soup kitchen every Thanksgiving or donating X amount of money each year, but he was a generous guy. If he ever saw someone in need and he could help, he did. I remember him stopping to pick older people up from the side of the road because he was concerned about them walking for long distances in the desert heat. 

Messing with Mota #1

If you know me, then you know that I love to laugh. If I'm not finding a reason to laugh, then there is something truly wrong with me. The love of laughing, as you might guess, is a result of Jorge's influence on me. 

#2

Going on a car ride when I was a little kid was always the most exciting thing. Often times, we rode the bus or walked anywhere we went because my mom didn't drive. Because my dad's job was driving a taxi, often times he wasn't home and if he was, he was either sleeping or drunk. When we did family things, it was often just my mom and us kids. 

Musical Links

Growing up, my mom always said that when someone died, you were supposed to be in luto, grief. You were supposed to wear black, not partake in any types of festivities, and not play any music. But how can I not listen to music when it was such a big part of my relationship with my brother.

Career Moves

The fall of 2016, the same semester I stopped teaching 7th graders, I started teaching an evening class at one of the local community colleges. It was one of those sort of things that is put out there and then it just happens. It was one of those sort of things that I will later think back on and feel like it was fate intervening. 

Since fall of 2016, every Monday and Wednesday, I rush off my day job campus like a bat out of hell to get to my college class. Some days, the days feel so long. I get so drowsy on my drive. I often stop to get tea in some variety to caffeinate me enough to deliver my evening performance. When class starts, I dig deep and pull out all the energy I can muster to teach. I always try to give my students my all. 

Lately, my evening gig has been my saving grace. Even though I know I'll be exhausted by the end of the night, I look forward to teaching. I look forward to seeing my students and talking to them about reading strategies or sharing interesting articles with them. 

All this is causing me to truly question whether or not I want to begin the graduate program I was accepted to. My graduate degree will be in educational management which will take me further away from students. I could be an assistant principal or work in an administration level job writing curriculum. And, I just don't know if this is the right move for me. So many people tell me I'd be so good at any of those jobs. But then, there's that feeling I get when I teach my students and build those relationships with them. I miss that so much. 

I want to get to a point in life where I don't have to work two jobs. But will moving up in the public school system be right?