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Damn, I was typing up an entry and I deleted it. I'll retype it when I get back from the dr. My first pap-smear at the age of 24.


My pap has been smeared and I'm on oral contraceptives. The lady told me that someone should treat me to conmemorate this great event. My girlfriend is taking me to the movies, but we had already planned that prior to this.

Anyway, back to what I was originally going to write about:

Each morning, as I walk into the gym and the semi-new state of the art gym facility scent hits my nostrils, I think, in a couple months, I won't be able to come here anymore. Last semseter, in the midst of term papers and endless pages of prose, poetry, and studies, all I could think about was graduating. Oh how great it would be when I would no longer need to worry about midterms, papers or finals. Now, all I can think about is making it last just a little bit longer and enjoying my last semester. Although I plan to go to grad school, this may not happen for another year. In the meantime, I won't be able to spend hours on end in the library occasionally looking out the window to see rain attaching itself to the double panned windows. I won't be able to bitch about how the school is spending my money. I won't be able to read the paper and comment with classmates about the latest editorial. But most importantly, I won't be able to attend class.

I'm going to miss going into a classroom and listening to a professor probe us for comments. Yeah, some of them did suck and didn't offer me any real knowledge. But those few, that raised the bar and made me achieve another level of understanding, those are the ones that make it worth it. I've always said I wanted to be a student for life and this is exactly why. I need that contact to help provoke me, cause me to aim higher not because I'm dependent but because I know that I can talk about it with someone who may understand me. I'm not insulting anyone or saying that people are stupid, but the university has been the only place to afford me these kinds of coversations.

Dang, four more months. :(

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