Sleepless Wedding Dress Video

El Insomnio

This summer, more than ever, I’ve been having sleep issues. At the beginning of the summer, I was used to my school schedule. I’d fall asleep around 11 or 12 and wake up around 7 AM.

But the week before the trip to El Paso everything got all screwy. I was staying up late almost every night preparing for my presentation.

Then, when I returned from El Paso, things just got worse. I’d stay up later and later until I wouldn’t fall asleep until the sun was coming up.

Now that I’ve had training to attend, I usually sleep two to four hours. It’s always the same. I go to my bedroom at around 11 PM, watch TV or read, and before I know it, it’s 2 AM. I force myself to go to sleep. Then when I least expect it, I wake up wondering what time it is. I realize its 2 or 4 hours later and can’t go back to sleep.

Because I hate lying there idly, I get out of bed and annoy the cats by turning on the lights and making coffee. Probably not the best thing to do, but it’s one of my favorite things about waking up early, having the time to make coffee and watch the morning news.

The Wedding Dress

Long ago, I planned on getting married at some point. Nothing has been done about it really. For me, both of us being on the lease is enough.

Sure, I used to plan Barbie weddings, but they were not ever my own. Sunday nights, when I watch Bridezillas, I revel in the joy of not being them especially that lunatic in the video below.

My mom, however, has a different view.

When I spoke to her the other day, she was so excited about a wedding dress she saw at the Goodwill store. When her friend asked her why she was so interested in it, she said, “Para la Georgina, la mas chiquita. Ella se quiere casar.”

I was touched by the tone in her voice; it was like a joy with a hint of joy smothered with love. I’ve been thinking about it a lot trying to capture the tone in words. I might hit replay on that conversation* hoping to hear it again.

*I was trying to link the story, but I realized it’s from one of my mom stories that I’m currently collecting. Anyway, my mom often tells you the same stories if you call her frequently. She calls it darle vuelta al cassette.

Muddled

Recently, there was a big fight over the revised English Language Arts state mandated curriculum. It appears that one group of people wanted to remove comprehension and increase the stress on teaching fluency. They also wanted to take grammar out of the writing process.

Many of us were up in arms and complained, but the board still had their way. They voted and passed a version of the TEKS (Texas Essential Knowledge Skills) that was not what had been put up on the web site or the version a group of English teachers had revised.

And now, this. The ire is causes.

I’ll be happy when someone with some sense are on the Board of Education. Currently, it is not a requirement to have any experience in education to be on the board. While sometimes we need outside perspective, not having a true idea of what effects your decisions are having on millions of children is a huge problem.

The problem with education is that it has become muddled by so much red bureaucratic tape and loss of power. These people need to step back and really listen. There are so many of us wanting to do powerful things for our students, but stopped or disillusioned because of them.

From the Vault

My little blue flash drive that I got when I was still in college has finally run out of space. Because I know that I have multiples of some files, I decided I should clear up some space to keep adding stuff to it.

Anyway, I found what seems to be a blog entry that I never posted. This was typed up 12/29.2006...

As I sit/sat here in the wee hours of the morning, listening to my favorite Counting Crows album (Hard Candy), chipping away at my brain for words and ideas, I’m reminded of one of my favorite places on the UH campus, the library. It is one of the things I miss most about college. Unlike most students at U of H, who hardly or never set foot in the library, I was there almost on a daily basis.

In my early college days, I didn’t know how to use the library. I’d end up frustrated and running to the internet or bookstore to find enough info to write my papers. It is of no surprise that most of those papers were really a piece of crap. I haven’t seen one lately, but I’m sure they were. On top of that, I had just learned to use a pc and I’m certain I’d been using something other than word to type them which made them esthetically horrid.

Moving from El Paso to Houston didn’t automatically make me a library expert. In fact, I’m sure that I still didn’t know how to use a library when I got here. It was slowly and with the help of many people that I learned about all the different sections of the library. There were some I spent a lot of time in and others I never set foot in (which is really pretty sad).

But my favorite thing to do at the library was sit in a cubby and study or write. I remember the year I got stuck with the ghastly schedule in which I worked most of the day and had class at night, I’d leave work and spend the rest of the afternoon on the fourth floor in a cubby in front of the window translating Chaucer as I listened to some music.

Going to the library, I always had to go alone too. It never worked if I went with someone else because I would talk or they’d want to leave.

Or, they could accidentally throw off my routine: As I was leaving work or class, I’d plug myself up to my musical device. Upon arriving at the library, I’d pick up a Daily Cougar on my way inside. I’d usually take the older elevator because if there were too many people milling around, I’d take the stairs across from them. When I found an appropriate cubby (if mine had been taken), I’d sit down and take out my books, notebooks, and pens (I usually carry at least three pens and pencil). Then, I’d read the Daily Cougar, maybe do a little free writing to clear the brain, and then start my homework.

Inevitable

Since my last entry, a few things have occurred. For example, I turned one year older. My new profile picture was taken during my birthday celebration. It was a fun evening with delicious food.

I also started a three week period of nothingness. There are no staff developments. The only work I have is to keep the house clean and whatever else I decide to do.

I also made the epic journey home and back. The goal of the visit was to help my mom settle into her new apartment. Mid-March, my mom had a stroke. It was a really hard blow. It made me look at the people around me with two living, healthy parents and wonder why I mine had to be sick. It made me very angry.

Fortunately, my mom was able to overcome the effects of her stroke. Although at times she forgets or says the wrong word, she’s doing well. Her CT scan found that her brain had not bled. And now that she’s on her own again, her zest for life is back.

Still, on the drive home, I couldn’t help but think about the inevitable. One day, I will be driving back toward Houston and there won’t be a mom waiting to hear if I’ve made it to Ft. Stockton or San Antonio yet. I know that the empty feeling I had when I found out about her stroke will be ten times worse. I will probably go around saying “Aye Amá,” like my own mom did when hers passed away. Eventually, I will get used to it, but what seems so difficult now, is that I don’t know how I will.

For now, I know that I need to enjoy her as much as I can and do as much I can to make her as happy as possible.