La Brown Girl

2011-10-02T04:53:00.000-07:00

It's funny how as we grow older, waking up early becomes an everyday thing. As much as I love to sleep, I know that if I don't wake up early on the weekends the work week is going to be utter hell.

I went outside this morning and I saw some intersting things:

The boxer that the old man walks around on a short leash was having a ball running around the apartment grounds off his leash. I didn't even phase him, he just kept running. He reminded me of a kid.
The truck that's always double parked or too far up the sidewalk had a 310 written on the window. Deep down, I hoped it's because it was towed because its' owner is an inconsiderate jerk.
The weather was delicious. It was slightly cool. No need for A/C this morning. It made me long for a Pumpking Spice Latte and my b.f.f.

After mass this morning, I might go spend time in a coffee joint so that I can force myself to do some work on this side project. I thought I was going to do some school work last night, but as it turns out, the book I needed is most likely at school. It made me giggle because every time I run into fellow colleagues from other schools, they always say, "I do not take any school work home with me on the weekends. I work late every night, and I'm not about to do it on the weekends, too!"

I work late and bring work home on the weekends, but I decided to give their approach a try this weekend and the universe decided to give me a hand, too.

I've got to do what I can to beat this burn out feeling. It's like two years ago all over again. I got over it then, and I know I will get over it this time. I just need to make sure I take care of me so that the casualties are minimal.

It does make me wonder how it is that those teachers who have taught for decades do it...

Absence

2011-09-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

In the time that I've been gone, I haven't done too many exciting things.

I've aged and gained some life experience. But otherwise things are still pretty much the same.

Work is work. I loved my job last year, couldn't dream of doing anything else. Not so much this year. I suppose we all tend to have those years where we feel blah about everything. It doesn't help that everyone acts like the world is ending because we have a new assessment that's timed and more rigorous.

I'm not afraid of the test. I'm just annoyed by all the tedious paperwork. The best thing anyone can do to make sure we're preparing the kids is visit classrooms and give honest feedback. Whatever.

I've become somewhat of a YouTube beauty fanatic. In particular, I love watching videos on nail designs. Rather than watching television to relax in the evenings, I paint my nails. It's weird because I was never such a girly girl.

I'm also still in a reading phase. Although with work, it's hard to make time to read these days, I'm still reading a lot. Currently, I'm working on a YA fantasy trilogy about ghosts. I'm on the second book titled Everwild.

I'm still working the Book Whisper approach with the kids, but I have my work cut out with my big class. It seems like every little freedom I give them, they want to take it and run with it. So I have to constantly revise my policies for them. I know that if I keep at it, I'll eventually get them to be successful. However, it does make me wonder what it would be like to work at a place where the kids really wanted to learn...

The Power of Literature

2011-07-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

With the end of the Potter series looming at the end of the week, and the Twilight series final movie installments just around the turn of the calendar, some people are saying good-bye to their childhood literature comforts.

It’s moments like this that I like to step back and people watch. And I can’t help get emotional. Not because I’m sad that it’s the end of the series, but because of the immense power literature holds over people.

As a lover of words and stories, I have always found comfort in stories, poetry, and my own words. For so long, I felt like I was the only one who felt this need to live between the pages of Superfudge, wishing Ivon Villa from Desert Blood:The Juarez Murders really existed so I could call her up and chat, wondering what people said about the Buendias in Macondo, creating my own world in which I was whoever I wanted to be at the moments. But as I’ve taken my wonky path through life, I’ve found other people like me.

It’s incredible how the simple act of opening a book can change a person forever. And that, is not only why I love reading and writing, but also why I don’t ever want to stop teaching.

I Think...

2010-12-29T20:20:00.000-08:00

2011 is the year that I should really work on making myself happy--no matter what it takes.

I'm a bit apprehensive about some of the things I might have to do, but it's time. I deserve it.

Chasing Brooklyn

2010-12-19T22:39:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading Chasing Brooklyn by Lisa Schroeder, and I’m emotionally spent. It was such an incredibly sad story. One of the most touching poems is the following:

#289

Dear Lucca,

I miss you.

I miss your beautiful blue eyes and the love I saw in

them for me.

I miss your hand that held mine.

I miss your arms around me.

I miss your lips on mine

I miss your laughter.

I miss the way you called me Brooker the Looker

I miss your voice and the sweet everythings you

whispered in my ear.

I miss the drawings you showed me before anyone else.

I miss our midnight conversations for no other reason

than to say, “I love you.”

I miss how I felt safe when I was with you.

I miss you, Lucca.

For my whole life, I will miss you.

Love always,

Brooklyn

Although the resolution seems to come too easily, this book is so powerful. It tells a tale of lost love, and yet, it offers so much hope.

Brooklyn and Nico are complex characters depicted through the simplistic language of Lisa Schroeder. It was hard to put this book down. I'm so glad one of my students recommended it for me.

A Long Awaited Break

2010-11-21T20:02:00.000-08:00

It seems like last week could not end fast enough. Every day, I would wake up thinking it was the next day.

One of those days, I had about four boys come in for tutorials. None of them had anything to make up, so we just hung out and chatted. One of them asked, "Ms. are you gonna miss us?"

"Of course I will," I replied.

The truth is, I am going to miss them. The best part of my day is spending four hours and forty minutes working with the kids. It's the hour and a half of meetings and diplomacy that I will not miss.

So while I'm thankful for time to rest, work on my endless projects, and reflection, I am also so very thankful for the kids that await me next Monday morning.

An Allegory

2010-11-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

There are many similes and metaphors teachers can use to describe what it’s like to be a teacher these days, running on a treadmill, a mountain being capped by snow, etc.

This morning, I woke with that sentence on my mind, and had to add but to it. Because those comparisons are old and trite in my mind, I’d much prefer to use an allegory at this moment…

There lived a colony of ants that had been in existence for decades (in ant time). Everyone worked hard and did their job. The Hunter and Gatherer ants hunted and gathered. The Guardian ants patrolled the anthill. The Digger ants dug further to increase their kingdom for the growing population. The Special Teams ants were so good that any time a hint of water was in the air, they had the path to the surface shut down so quickly that they hadn’t had a flood…well, ever now that I come to think of it. The Queen never feared her protection. She fulfilled all her queenly duties each day and sat at the great table for dinner every night.

However, as with all things, good things come to halt once in a while. The Queen became ill. The illness seeped into the very tips of her antennae, so she did what any other queen ant had done in the past, appointed her eldest daughter.

The New Queen’s lineage extended further than the existence of the anthill, so her colony was under the impression that things would remain the same. After all, their training had been geared specifically to their job to assure quality control.

The New Queen attended weekly meetings with the Super Queen. At these meetings, she learned of the Westward Expansion Plan. All of the other ant colonies in the area were to expand their domain by the length of five blades of grass each week. Prior to the death of the Queen, the colony had been right on track with their expansion goals. The week after the change in monarchy, they had fallen short one blade since there had been a daylong celebration. The New Queen was furious, for if she was to live up the expectations of the Super Queen, she would have to be stricter.

When she came home, she didn’t go around talking to the workers to assess any needs. Instead, she called a meeting with the leaders of all the different areas.

“I was told that we are behind on the Westward Expansion Plan. We were short one blade of grass this week. That is unacceptable!” she shouted as she pounded a fist on her throne.

“But your Highness, we have been ahead all along. Each week, we dig six lengths. This week, we only dug five, so we actually did meet the requirement,” said the Lead Digger.

“I do not care! Do you have any idea to the ONLY one at the meeting with the Super Queen who was told that we’d been short on our goals?”

All the Lead Digger could do was bow his antennae and stare at the ground.

“From now on, Ant Patrol will also be on digging duty,” said the New Queen.

“But Madame, who will guard the colony?” asked the Lead Guardian.

“The hunter and gatherers can do that, too,” she demanded.

“We may have to shorten our trails if we need to patrol in addition to gathering food and supplies and that may mean less food for everyone,” said the Lead Hunter and Gatherer.

“Well, we’ll just have to live with it,” said the New Queen, “the Expansion Project is our most important goal right now. We need to get ahead.”

So the lead ants returned to their groups and told them about the new plan. The Diggers felt embarrassed and hurt that they needed help, when in fact, they had been doing a great job. The Guardians were worried that something could happen to the anthill in their absence, and the Hunter and Gatherers felt overwhelmed by the idea of doing two jobs at once.

The only group that had been left unburdened by this whole ordeal was the Special Teams who upon hearing of the new plan, offered to help with what they could. Since the Special Teams was quite small, all that was left as a last defense were two newbie ants that had been on the job less than a week.

Despite this, the new plan seemed to be working because at the next meeting with the Super Queen, the New Queen received praise for having expanded the seven lengths.

However, when she got back to her colony, the paths were hollowed.

“Hello,” she called out, but all she heard was the echo of her voice.

She crawled toward the surface of the earth and began to see some disturbing images. The ground was saturated with water instead of simply moist. Floating in a little puddle of water was the body of one of the newbie Special Teams ants. The New Queen gasped in horror, “What going on here?”

At the surface, there were more bodies. Some had been drowned others fried. Then she heard a menacing laugh coming from above, “What do we have here? The Queen Ant?”

She felt something clip the tip of her wings. She shrieked, calling out to the Lead Guard, but she knew that she was doomed as she became squished between the padding of two fingers.

Her avarice and pride had cost her not only her life, but also the lives of her colony.

No Gimmicks Required

2010-10-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

This school year, I ventured onto a new endeavor with my students—get them to read and write. This transformation has been in the making for quite some time, I just didn’t know how to let go. Really, all it takes is what I like to call grassroots teaching.

Grassroots teaching is basically just having the kids read, write, discuss, make connections, and show that they understand by writing.
Reading The Book Whisperer and attending The New Jersey Writing Institute AKA ABYDOS Learning only helped show me the way to this Promised Land.
In my writing class, we talk about grammar rules and instead of a worksheet or test; my students apply it to their writing. We talk about details in a piece of writing, how the author used the details, and my students imitate the format in their writing.
I tell them what figurative language is and we find it in literature, and then, the students play with the language. My kids can tell you what the theme of a piece of literature.
Instead of focusing on everything that is wrong with their essay, we look at what is good. Then, we look at one aspect to make it better.
It makes sense right?
And yet, it’s a battle for others to see what the point of all this is.
But me, I’ve never been happier. During SSR (Super Silent Reading—really it’s Silent Sustained Reading, but that’s a terrible name), my kids read…books…like novels…long novels.
At the start of the year, when I told my students they would be required to read 45 books this year, some groaned. A few looked at me in disbelief, thinking that they could never, ever meet that requirement.
I remember one student asking me, “Ms. do you think you can get someone who doesn’t like to read to like it?”
I looked at her and said in all honestly, “Yeah, I think so.”
The next day, again, the same student asked, “Ms. do you REALLY think you can get someone who doesn’t like to read to read?”
“Yeah,” I replied, more confident than ever.
We are about 2 months into the school year and that same student has read seven books. SEVEN!
I got her hooked on the Bluford High Series. Being a scarce commodity in our library, I ordered the entire set from Townsend Press. When they came in, I called her science teacher and asked if I could see her for a few minutes. By the time she got down to my room, I had the books laid out on a desk.
“They’re here!” I said when she walked through the door.
The smile on that kid’s face made my day.
I feel great about what I am doing with my kids. I love hearing them talk about boks to one another, or when they do a little dance because the book they’ve been waiting for is finally at their disposal, or when they share their writing and hear praise from their classmates.
I really do feel like I’m finally doing this teaching thing right this time around.

NJWP-Week One

2010-07-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

Today marks the end of week one of the New Jersey Writing Institute. We have two left, and I already feel a pang of sadness that it will be over soon.

Some people would ask why. They would claim that I’m giving up a lot of my summer. Time to sit by a pool or on the beach. Movie time I won’t get back. Sunny afternoons clacking away at Barnes and Noble keeping a slightly sweetened black iced tea and outrageous oatmeal cookie close by.

The truth, it’s all worth it. In just this first week, I have learned so much, been validated in regard to my teaching and writing, and inspired on so many levels.

I want to shrink Mona and Janice to tuck them away in my pen/pencil pouch so that I can pull them out in the middle. The period of time “that defines what kind of teachers we really are.”

Sure, I have my notes to go back to and the textbook is mine, but it just isn’t the same. It’s the comradery and voice of reason from the people who teach the process that makes this Institute what it is.

I wish I could require all of our teachers to attend. I know that this would change some of their mentality and in turn, provide our kids with the education they deserve.

Los Mojaditos: A Portrait

2010-07-02T23:48:00.000-07:00

I love this photograph because it is probably the only one with all of my siblings. On the left in the white undershirt and jeans is my brother Filly. Next to him in the white jeans is Silvia, the oldest of our sisters. Next to her is Richy, the oldest of our brothers. On the bottom from left to right are Jorge, me, and Gabi.

I can’t remember if this photograph was taken at our house on Rita street or the previous house. All I know is that we’d been in the country a couple of years and we were all still illegal.

Thinking back at how things were, I wonder how we did it. How did my mom do it to feed all of us, clothe us, and keep a roof over our head. I didn’t know how hard it was for my oldest sister who had been forced to move when she had already started her own life in Juarez. I didn’t know how bad school was for Gabi and Jorge.

There are a few memories in there of fights between my parents and the fear of perhaps my mom not coming home one day because she’s been deported. However, for the most part, I was a really happy kid. I had some books, a record player, a Tatiana LP recording of Osito Panda, a Cri-Cri LP, and playing outside with our neighbors or my siblings was the best thing ever, especially if we took a trip to the park.

Rigor

2010-06-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

This year, our principal assigned us some summer reading. People groaned when they heard that they’d have to read the student summer reading as well as a teacher book. I didn’t say much because I’m a nerd and I usually read that kind of stuff.

The book we were assigned is Rigor is NOT a Four-Letter Word by Barbara R. Blackburn. She will be presenting during one of our start of year in-services, too.

It’s an interesting book thus far (I’m only two chapters in). Blackburn tries to be interactive by posing questions and allowing space to write out your answer, kind of like a worksheet. I don’t think the books are ours to keep, so I’ve been making my notes elsewhere. One of the “assignments” was to:

Write a letter to a friend or colleague. Project yourself in the future; date it one year from today. Now, explain what happened in your classroom over the last year as you increased rigor. What did you do? How did your students respond over time? What was your biggest success? Even though you are writing what you hope will happen, write it in past tense, as though it has already occurred. (18)

Seeing as how I’ve been ignoring this here blog, I thought I’d post the letter here.

June 9, 2011

Dear Blogueros,

My 6^th year of teaching has come to a close and I can’t believe how awesome it was. If you had asked me at the end of last year if any year could be better, I’d have been doubtful.

Armed with experience and more knowledge, my students grew by leaps and bounds. My lessons were not only engaging, but challenging as well. Can you believe that the Shakespeare unit was an even bigger hit? The kids had so much fun doing the research about Shakespeare’s life. They actually did research. RESEARCH!!!

Not only that, my kids read, A LOT. All of the changes that I started implementing at the end of my 5^th year were a great way to start (reader’s response journals, keeping a list of books that were and weren’t read, me reading more), and I think it made a huge difference with my students. It was also pretty cool that I had more support when it came to students having reading material at all times since this was a requirement across the board.

Their writing was also way better than any other kids I’ve taught. I know it was me, too because I really used all the cool strategies I learned this summer in my staff development. Can you believe that we got more 3’s and 4’s than ever on the state exam?

What I’m most proud of though has to be the growth in student vocabulary. It’s amazing. In the past, it was always a big dark cloud over my head because I didn’t know how to get them to learn the words. I mean, I could get them to memorize the definitions, but I couldn’t get them to keep them long term or relate them to other words that were similar.

I know that at first my students thought I was crazy, which is not unusual in my case, but at the end of the year, they really got it. They saw that together, we demolished all of those fences people like to build around them. I know it increased their confidence and for many of them, that was the missing factor.

I am so glad I changed my ways. I really think I’m on the right track now. I can’t wait for school to start, so I can start on my new crop of kids.

Sincerely,

LBG

Petite Rocollections of Jorge

2010-04-09T19:32:00.000-07:00

We’re in the toy section at Winn’s next to the Diary Queen on Alameda Ave. Jorge is 13 and I’d just turned 5.

“¿Cúal quieres?”

I look at my options. Rainbow Bright is cool, but Lurky is just so cool. He’s brown and furry and would probably make an awesome pillow. After some thought, I decide on Lurky.

I watch him shell out the $17 for it and feel somewhat embarrassed that he would spend so much money on me, but at the same time so special.

* * *

Before walking to the other side of campus, my 7^th grade brother walks me to the area where the first graders wait until the bell rings. As customary, he leans down to give me a kiss on the check.

Some of his 7^th grade peers see this and start making cracks at him, “Oh, how cute, you kiss your little girlfriend on the check.”

My brother looks at them and goes about his business. I realize, again, that I have the best brother in the world.

* * *

We’re both attending EPCC, and it’s the first day of classes.

We’d gone to register together and ended up taking a few classes around the same time which enabled us to carpool.

Jorge’s class ended early. He was lucky enough to get one of those profs that hands over the syllabus on the first day and calls it a day.

My prof is a high school teacher, so he thinks he has to walk us through everything. I’m sitting in class listening to him drone on about expectations and procedures when I see my brother walking by. As he walks past the door, he looks in and continues to look in, turning his head as far as he can. A few seconds later, he’s walking past again, holding his binder in the opposite hand, doing that crazy head turning thing again. It’s then that I start to giggle and work hard to stifle it. A few seconds later, he’s walking past again, binder in the opposite hand.

My prof catches on and walks over to close the door. Through the sliver of window, I can see my brother walking past over and over. I try really hard not to look anymore because I am about to loose it.

* * *

A humid Sunday evening in Houston, Texas, we pull up to the Southwest terminal. I’d been trying not to think about this moment. I was so glad our driver had gotten lost on our way to the airport because it bought me a little more time.

When I get out of the car and turn to look at him, I lose it.

This is it. This is the moment that officially marks my departure from El Paso.

He hugs me and tells me it will all be okay. I will come visit for Halloween, and once again, we will terrorize the neighborhood with our creations. Even though he may have wanted to, he doesn’t cry. I am grateful it was him who helped me make the move.

Catching Up-A Long One

2010-04-04T15:42:00.000-07:00

So much has gone on lately, but I haven’t had the will to sit and type about it. Sometimes I wish I could get back into the blogging groove and write an entry at least once a week. Other times, I sort of forget about my blog altogether.

It’s just weird, you know? How much do you tell? How much do I want to tell?

I do think that I should start updating once a week. Work it into my schedule like I do with my grading—I hang out on Friday afternoon to get all caught up.

So in an effort to get this all up to date, I offer to you a bulleted list:

• Spring Break Challenge
Every break that we get from school, I usually assign my students homework in the form of reading. For the ones that are already going to do it, it’s really no big deal. For this vacation, my kids challenged me to read five books. I only read three. Still, it was cool. I read Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment, Chanda’s Wars, and Stop Pretending. I’m reading through The Knife of Never Letting Go and have Joseph on queue. I’ve been doing a few freelance projects here and there that prevent me from really getting into the reading.
• Spring Break Road Trip
For Spring Break, we drove out to Brenham, Texas home of the Blue Bell Factory. We stayed at the Far View Inn for a few days. All around, it was pretty awesome. More than anything, it was really, really relaxing—something I needed. Of course, the week we returned to work was udder hell, but at least I got some time to chill.
• Education in the News
I’ve seen all the reports and articles about teaching. Currently, I’m trying to stay away from them because what some of these people assume just infuriates me. Teaching and education is just one of those things that if you’ve never done it, you don’t understand. Yes, the teacher is the X-factor, but many times, even the best teacher, has so many issues beyond their control. Until the playing field is completely even, there may not be success with current “education fixes.” Otherwise, a new approach needs to be taken.
• Abydos Conference
Speaking of teaching, I went to the Abydos conference the weekend prior to Spring Break. It was really awesome. It was at the end of Big State Test #1, and it was just what I needed to rejuvenate me. I have used something from each of the sessions I attended. It’s probably been The Best conference I have attended.
• Hair
So it’s pretty long now. Long considering how short I used to keep it. I need to go in for a trim, but I’m afraid of how much will be chopped off. I’m planning on donating it to Locks of Love which means I need to grow it ten inches. I really like the idea of growing it out to donate it. It makes me think twice about the products and techniques I use.
• Poetry Month
April is poetry month. I didn’t exactly kick off the month how I would have liked, but at least I am doing more than last year. On Wednesday, I took the kids to the library to create Book Spine Poems. At first, they were a bit apprehensive, but once they experienced the process, they were all about it. Currently, I’m creating some poet bios to put up around the ELAR classes. I was supposed to find five, but I’ve doubled my list after a visit to Barnes and Noble this weekend.
The poem really reads:

What the Moon Saw
On This Date
Rocks in His Head

• TOTY
For the first time, in a few years, our school admin decided we would have an SJI Teacher of the Year. I was nominated and I won! The principal called me into her office afterschool a couple weeks ago to get some information from me for the district application, and she also said I would be nominated for State TOTY. It was humbling and validating to receive this honor from my colleagues. I’m not sure what I get, and I haven’t mentioned it to my students. In due time, it will all come out. It does, however, put a little more pressure on me to continue to raise the bar on my work.

Babies, babies, babies

2010-02-27T11:36:00.000-08:00

It seems like everyone is having a baby these days. It's kind of exciting to welcome all these new little people to the world.

I don't have much else. I just thought I'd post something since I came on here to change my profile pic. That's the longest I've had my hair in years. Locks of Love, here I come!

THESE Kids...

2010-01-29T20:17:00.000-08:00

All of last year, I heard about the kids I would be getting this year. I heard all about how horrible they were, how they would not follow the rules, how they could get away with murder, how difficult they were to teach.

Although it was in the back of my mind, I kept my mind open. The first time I met them was at summer reading camp and they were good for the most part. I was also able to meet some during orientation. Still, there weren’t any major problems.

Despite all the complaints people have about our current kids, I got lucky with the kids I got. They are pretty good. Sure, I have a handful of super chatty ones and some supremely aloof ones, but for the most part, they are pretty good.

Many kids have turned me into a character in their fractured fairytales. Today, when I got a mean edge in my voice when my last class would not stop talking, they looked at me with deer in the headlight eyes and got super quiet. When school was over and the kids were leaving, one of my super chatty, hyper active kid shouted out my name and gave me a big wave and huge grin as he walked out the doors.

As I sat at my desk grading away the afternoon, I realized that these kids are working for me because I am finally ready for them. I am a much better teacher. I still have my lapses, but overall, I am becoming the teacher these kids deserve.

The State of My Blog

2009-12-12T23:41:00.000-08:00

I’ve been thinking about this blog—about why I hardly ever write here anymore. Last week, it was raining and I was preparing to go into Kroger for a round of groceries and it all came together. I don’t write in here because I feel like I should write only about education, yet there is nothing that says that is the only subject I should write about. Just another example of the imaginary obstacle courses I create in my mind.

So a list, if you will, of things that I’ve been up to.

Hair!

I am still growing it out. It’s really pretty strange to run my hands through it and have to buy hair products and spend time on it. Last time I went in for a trim, the new hair girl was sure I was done and there to chop it all off. I’m determined to grow it out to at least my shoulders. After that, there is no telling. I may go back to the pixie cut or keep it long. It is just hair after all. I know it seems sort of a paradox that I made that last comment and I write a whole paragraph about it. Sometimes I think my determination comes from some people around me betting on my failure.

Beauty

For some reason, last year around the start of school, I decided I should start wearing makeup. Prior to that, I only wore a swipe of mascara, face powder, and lipstick on special occasions. Now, I’m all about the eye shadow. I’ve spent countless hours on YouTube learning about brushes and color combinations and techniques. It’s sort of fun to play with it. Sometimes it ends up really bad and I just wipe it all off and start all over and I think that’s what I like the best about it.

I’ve also gotten back into painting my nails. I stopped this trend when I started wearing acrylics and then last summer, after a particularly painful and horrible experience at the nail salon, I was done. My nails are still healing from the battle wounds, but they are much better. One of my students always comments on my nails. I think she finds it amusing to keep track of the colors I wear and whether or not they match my outfits.

Books

I’ve read a few books, still on the more reading than writing kick. One of the more interesting YA books I’ve read in a while is If I Grow Up by Todd Strasser. It’s pretty bleak, but very good. I think everyone should read this book. The insight it provides is unmatched. It’s sort of like Speak and The Throw Away Piece. These difficult tales, that make me want to smack some of the adults in the books over the head and said, “Can’t you see that kid needs help!” It reminds me to be more sensitive to my students.

Currently, I’m reading Mare’s War by Tanita S. Davis. It’s about these two teenage girls forced to go on a road trip with their weird grandmother who doesn’t like to be called Grandma. It’s taken me a while to get through it because I haven’t taken a day to just immerse myself in it. I do like it though. I like how the story weaves the past and the present.

Audio books have also become part of my life. That is how I got through the Twilight Series. I listened to every other book (New Moon and Breaking Dawn). I’m thinking about going to get My Life in Paris from the public library.

Speaking of which, I just saw Julie/Julia and I loved Meryl Streep. I found myself gushing over her. I know, what a cheese ball. I just love the Julia she portrays. She’s fierce and ruthless and the person I want to be. After reading the Julie/Julia book this summer, I was so inspired and despite what the reviews said, I felt the same way after watching the movie. The Julie parts were a bit annoying, but the Julia parts were amazing.

Interview Judge

This last week, I had an opportunity to be a judge for the Decathlon Competition. I was helping with the interviews. It was pretty cool because the first student to walk in was one of my former students. She was awesome, but I think the best interview we had was with this young lady, a senior, who had the most amazing story.

When she walked in, she treaded carefully because the floor was so slippery. When she got to the desk she was supposed to sit at, she took a deep breath, studied it for a minute before trying to wedge herself into it. I felt for her because I have the same problem—always have. I was up first and asked something lame like, “Why did you decide to join the Decathlon team?”

As the interview went on, she said that college wasn’t a possibility for her. We were interviewing the honors kids, so this kind of surprised me. So when my turn came around again, I asked, “Is there anything else you want to tell us about yourself?”

We were told to ask a variation of that question somewhere during the interview because they’d been practicing their response. Anyway, her response was completely unexpected. It turns out that she is the legal guardian of four of her family members, so she can’t go to college because she has to work to take care of these kids. At one point during her story, I had to look down until I was able to control the water works.

She reminded me of Precious. Her story can teach people. Her story can change the way people are. Her story is only one of the many dreams deferred that sit in our honors program classes. The ones shake our heads at because someone should do something, yet we do nothing.

As the Kids Say...Be There!

2009-10-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

You’re invited to the first Children’s Prison Arts (CPAP) Fundraising Mixer!

October 27, 2009

AvantGarden (411 Westheimer, Houston, TX 77006 / 832-519-1429)

Avantgardenhouston.com

6-9 pm

CPAP is a nonprofit arts education organization founded by Gypsy Walker in 1993 to introduce juvenile offenders in correctional facilities and shelters to an innovative educational theater and visual arts forum where they can express their thoughts and visions in constructive ways in Houston, Texas.

CPAP is funded in part by grants from The City of Houston through the Houston Arts Alliance, The Brown Foundation and The Houston Endowment.

Please come and enjoy yourself after a long work day and support this important project.

Any contribution helps

$10 one acrylic paint jar

$20 one canvas

$30 refreshments for youth after a performance

$50 printing of 100 postcards that advertise CPAP art exhibits or performances

$100 paint and three canvases for one art session (10 hours)

$200 costumes for theater production

$400 salary for visual art instructor (10 hours) or theater instructor (10 hours)

$500 half a year of office supplies

$1000 framing of 6 juvenile art works

Carolina Villarroel, President

Gabriela Baeza Ventura, Vice president

Laura Zubiate, Treasurer

Georgina Baeza, Secretary

For more information on CPAP visit http://www.childrensprisonart.org/gallery.htm

The Comfort of Old Friends

2009-10-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

When my horoscope read, “Get things done today so that you’ll have time later in the week to reconnect with someone,” I thought they were talking about the BF and I. Imagine my surprise when I’m walking out of the office and I hear a loud, raspy voice that could belong to none other than my mentee from two years ago.

She came by to say hello and we sat around for two hours talking about students, work, and her never-ending issues for not fitting the mold. Despite all the struggles, she’s maintained a sense of humor and has even more passion about educating our students.

I wish some people could get past their issues and realize what a great fit she is for our kids. I can vouch for her because for the last two years, the students I have received from her are kids that are prepared for me. They’ve retained instruction and have developed the work ethic needed to be 7^th graders. Sure, I have to nudge it out of them at first, but when I find out she was their teacher, I know they have no excuses. In her class, the expectations are never lowered—no matter what.

Being her mentor, I never felt I had anything to teach her. With her, I saw myself as someone who just needed to help her get situated in our school. She knew so much, not just because she was a good student but also because she had her Street Smarts Ph.D. In fact, I probably learned more from her than she did from me.

I know that when her path leads her elsewhere, so many kids are going to lose out. For many of them, she is that one chance that they have to finally break the mold and create a different future for themselves.

Directions Quiz

2009-10-17T07:11:00.001-07:00

As a teacher, I get tired of telling kids, "Read the directions." This past week, it took my Pre-AP kids 25 minutes to revise a sentence because they didn't read directions. So, I decided it was time for a directions quiz. I googled and found one and made some modifications to fit my class.

It was comic relief Friday for me. I can't post pics of the kids, but I can post the quiz for you.

Directions Quiz

Read the entire quiz first, then follow the directions given. You have 10 minutes to complete this test. (Your teacher will be watching you and making notes of what you do, so read carefully!)

1. Write your name in the upper right hand corner

2. Put the date in the left hand corner

3. Write your age:

4. Write the name of the President of the U.S.

5. Write the name of the author of The Outsiders

6. Stand up and stretch.

7. Write your two favorite colors here: ____________ and _____________

8. Walk once around all the desks in the class.

9. Write the formula for a sentence*:

10. Put your left shoe on the desk and leave it there.

11. Get up and sharpen your pencil.

12. Fold this paper in half.

13. Add 237, 4986, and 866. Answer: __________________

14. After you do number 13, raise your hand for ten seconds.

15. Write the name of your favorite food: _______________

16. Sit down and stand up 10 times as fast as you can. Record how long it took you here: ________________

17. Print the name of the planet you live on ____________

18. Write down a compliment for the person to your right or left on the back of this paper.

19. Draw one red circle and two blue triangles on the bottom of this page.

20. Don’t follow these instructions. Instead, turn this paper face down and read your book quietly until time is called.

*The timer was sitting on top of the foldable we've been working on for sentence types. The formula for a sentence was to the left and I have them recite it weekly at least.

It's Been Such a Long Time...

2009-10-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

There have been half a dozen times that I type up a blog post, but never get around to actually posting it. Some of them are saved and some have been lost.

Life has been going on, you know?

Work is good. Although I’m not leaving as early as I intended and sometimes it gets really crazy busy, it’s not so bad. I like my kids. The same kids I kept hearing were so horrible I’d want to flee the building screaming and pulling out my hair. Perhaps because of this reputation, I’d convinced myself that I was going to be a hard ass at first, and I guess I have been. I haven’t had many issues aside from the incessant gum referrals. I keep knocking on wood hoping that it’ll stay good all year long. We are just sliding down the October slope though. I’m determined not to spend the entire year in the dip though.

I suppose I should mention that I have a student teacher. She’ll only be with me for a couple weeks more and then off to the other end of the building. I had no idea it’d be so cool. I know a lot of it has to do with her being super awesome and me not being a demeaning witch, but it really does make the day go by swimmingly.

In the home front, I have two new pets. I actually just got them today. I named them Jeff and Kelley. I was told that those were stupid names, but the peeps that know me, know me know why I called them that. They’re happily floating in their plastic cylinder right now. I’m convinced to clear off my desk tonight, so I can sit in there and watch them as I force myself to work.

I’ve also gotten into the habit of podcasting the Rachel Maddow show and watching it before I go to bed. She cracks me up. In the mornings, I like to listen to Fresh Air. It makes the hair situation more bearable. I’ve been growing my hair out some, so now I must do more than rub in some gel and muss it up. Interestingly, my hair kind of resembles that of Rachel Maddow. I’m not sure how long I’m going to let it get, but it’s a nice change. I’d had the same hairstyle for ten years.

There’s not much else to really tell. I’ll probably disappear for another few weeks or months. The textbook committee meetings start up soon, and I’ll most likely be spending lots of free time on finding and defending the best book for our district. As big of a nerd as I am, I’m really excited about it.

Feminist

2009-08-19T05:26:00.000-07:00

The bf has this young male co-worker that is having issues with the ladies. Well, with one lady because he doesn’t get that she is with someone and completely happy with that someone. He hangs on to the hope that she will someday leave her partner for him. Where he gets this hope is beyond anyone because she shows no sign of being interested.

So, naturally (that is meant with a tone of sarcasm), they decided I should compile a t-chart (because I am a teacher and that’s the standard teacher format) with do’s and don’t when it comes to the laydeeez for this kid.

When the bf told me about this, I’d had a long day of meetings* and was idling on the couch trying to clear my brain. Then, I made sense of what he was asking and I said, “Do your work friends not know about me? Do you even talk about me?”

Deer in the headlights looking bf says, “What do you mean?”

“Do they not know that I’m not your typical woman?”

“That’s why I thought it would be funny. You could give him a feminist take on it.”

“Huh,” I said as I returned to my idling.

It made me wonder later. Are feminist really that different? Am I a true feminist? Because although I agree with a lot of feminist theory, I don’t feel that I know that much about feminism to comfortably use the term and stand my own in an anit-feminist debate and such.

Then I started thinking about the things I would write on this t-chart, and I don’t know that it would be any different than most women. If it is different, it’s because I have my hang ups since I have been fat almost all of my life and that tends to shape how you deal with people of whatever sex you are attracted to.

I never did get around to that t-chart. I don’t know that I will either. I’m much more concerned with spending my free time sleeping and doing things that I enjoy like research, watching Youtube videos, and maybe hammering out a story or another chapter in that damn novel that has been plaguing me.

*True story, we had a meeting about having meetings. That was a doozy. Seriously, like, really, a meeting about having a meeting? All you can do is laugh.

BTS

2009-08-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

“I won’t be able to take you to work on Monday,” I said as I unpacked groceries.

He tried to give me the puppy dog look and said, “I know. You’re going to get busier.”

I looked at him annoyed because he hadn’t been paying attention to anything I’d said in the last week, “I’m back to work officially on Monday.”

“Oh really?”

I’m pretty sure it’s most men that are this absent-minded and self involved, but good grief is it annoying.

I haven’t done anything “special” for back to school. I spent Friday running errands, yesterday I stocked up on groceries to help prepare easy meals, and today, well, I don’t know yet.

It’s been a good summer. I had a little remorse in early August for taking off all of July, but now I don’t. I enjoyed doing nothing or whatever I wanted the whole time. I enjoyed spending almost all of the week my mom was visiting with her, my sister, and my niece.

I turned down being the campus representative for my teacher’s union and I quit my Tuesday tutoring gig. I still feel bad about the tutoring because it’s extra cash. Still, there were times I bought materials out of pocket and if it means getting home earlier to make dinner, I think it’s well worth it. I’m determined to eat out a lot less.

It always happens that in the summer I cook at home a lot more because I have time to peruse ads, plan, shop, and organize. Plus, it helps to watch the Food Network once in a while. I don’t necessarily make what I see, but I get inspired to make things that I thought I couldn’t. This summer’s dish was ribs.

I’m interested to see how this all pans out. I am resigned in a sense to giving less of me. I gave up a bit of my summer to prepare, but my classroom is completely ready. Kids could show up tomorrow and it’d be okay. I’m not freaking out about dept. head duties. If some of the people on the team don’t want to work as a team, then that will be their problem. With our new curriculum, they are going to miss out on opportunities. Where I lost it last year was trying to help all kids. While that is a noble cause, I can’t do that at this point. So this year, I will focus on my kids. The ones on my roster. If I accidentally help others, that will be a bonus.

Deceit

2009-07-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

I’m not sure where I read about a new book about lying. Perhaps it was in the Oprah magazine that I browsed through at Barnes and Noble earlier. Anyway, it pointed out some stats like white lies aren’t really all that good and a large percentage, like 80%, of people tell lies. As I cut through the parking lot to the easiest exit, it got me thinking about all the things I have lied about in particular the things that I’ve lied to myself about.

I lie to myself a lot. Mostly to “fake it ‘till I make it.” On those days where everything goes wrong and I’m convinced my day is going to be horrible because the steamer ran out of water or my alarm clock didn’t go off, I often rationalize that those things will not dictate my day and plaster a smile across my face at the first sign of students and colleagues.

That’s not a lie you may say, but to me, it is. See, this is how I got myself to like reading. I have always read, ever since I was a little kid. My oldest sister used to buy me books from some mail service. I remember I had this huge book with all these funky looking drawings. The book was designed to teach me my colors, numbers, the alphabet, etc. I’m sure you know the kind. I loved looking at it and wanted so bad to know what it said. I had other titles, too and Gabi always brought home books for me from the library. Despite us being immigrants and poor, our house was not a poor print home. My mom always tried to instill in us a love of reading.

My mom always recalls me sitting in my rocking chair next to my record player looking at books and listening to music. I loved having books around and looking at the pictures and being read to.

When I finally learned to read, I was motivated by programs like Book It or by praise from my teachers, but honestly, I didn’t like reading so much.

I would have to read passages over and over sometimes because I didn’t understand the words and/or would go off on a mental fieldtrip. Still, I continued to read.

It’s funny that for someone who didn’t love reading, I actually read a lot. Perhaps my lack of friends helped. In seventh grade, I would spend my lunchtime in the library perusing the shelves. Or maybe the summer that we moved to my sisters and there was nothing to do and I learned to stay up all night glued to a book because I became enthralled by the lives of the characters. During high school, I often avoided going home and hung out in the library instead.

When people asked what I liked to do, naturally, I said read because it was something I did often whether or not I was successful. I faked it until I made it because now, I really do like to read. I’ve spent much of my free time this summer with my nose in a book or listening to one on my iPod as I clean or attempt to fall asleep. So maybe lying to myself this instance wasn’t such a bad thing.

Memories

2009-07-13T23:17:00.000-07:00

Today, amidst the cleaning and napping and errand running I visited two memories.

The first happened when I was sitting on the floor at the foot of my bed staring at the various tubes of lotions that ended up in my bedroom. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed because there still seemed to be so much to do and I couldn’t figure out how I was going to carry that many products back into the bathroom and then I’d have to rearrange the contents of the cabinet to make them fit, but before that I would need to change the litter because surely I wouldn’t be able to stand the smell and I might as well sweep and mop the floor before I clean the litter. So I sat there and took a trip to the district championship soccer game last spring. Who knows what got me thinking about it. But I started thinking how telling it was that the student who invited made sure to come up into the stands to say hello and thank me for coming. I also got to wondering if he’d invited any other teachers. The old coach who took a position mid-semester was there, as was the head coach, and the program coordinator that funds soccer (soccer is considered a club and not a sport at our campus).

It made me feel really good to go and see some of my current and former students kick some SoHo butt. I also enjoyed listening to the parents cheer on their kids. Everyone was supporting “los rojos.” Some parents brought gallons of juice and coolers for the little kids. One of my former students was out there trying his best while his mom gave birth to his baby sister down the street. His dad and little brothers were there supporting him. Those are the things that I truly miss. Last year I had so many duties that although they help kids, don’t allow me to be in the midst of all the action interacting with the kids. I hope I can change that this year.

The other memory trip came as I was driving to run an errand. Again, who knows what triggered it, but I got to thinking about my graduation party. Thinking back, I feel guilty that I wasn’t around to help much. My sister, her bff, and my mom did all of the work from cooking to setting up tables and decorating. It was really cool. There was mole, frijoles refritos, Caro’s famous empanadas, garbanzo and onion salad (one of my favorites), and perhaps some kind of wine punch. There was a cake made by my old supervisor at APP. I’m sure there were other things, but that’s all I remember these days. It was cool because despite it being crazy times, lots of people came and we all just had a good time. When I was thinking about this earlier, I was captivated by the idea that these three women had done this for me, like my ada madrinas. I guess in a way they all kind of are. It’s the kind of thing that happens in movies and sometimes we say, “wouldn’t it be cool if I had….” Sometimes completely missing that we actually already have that.

Summer 09

2009-07-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

Summer is halfway over and I feel like I just now got a chance to relax. Even though I attended fewer staff developments this year and the training I helped lead didn't involve as much planning as last year, somehow I feel like I’ve spent the first half of this summer working. June felt like it just flew by.

The good news is that I can totally get away with slacking off now if I want. Aside from spending Tuesday conducting interviews with a slew of characters, I spent most of the week just relaxing. Although, when your nose is constantly congested and your hearing is a bit off because of it and you’re living for your next dose of Sudafed, it’s not much of a vacation.

I did manage to get into a little routine in which I live my life in thirty to one hour increments depending on what television show is currently leading my life. Today, I made a conscious choice not to do that. Yesterday, the finale of the Gilmore Girls was re-aired and I’d been waiting for that since Spring Break, or maybe the little break I gave myself in May. Anyway, I mostly laid around reading a manuscript of an upcoming Pinata Books title with the television on something crappy just for background noise.

The good thing is that it doesn’t take much for my obsessions to change. I just have to become involved in the lives of the characters and then it’s like my sunflower seed addiction—don’t stop until you finish the bag…even if you scald your tongue with the salt.

I got like that with My Sister’s Keeper earlier this summer. It was during the three day TALA training that I twitted about. I would stay up until 2 or 3 AM knowing that I had to be at training the next day, but I'd become so obsessed that I was dedicated to finishing it before the week was over. In my mind, I rationalized my reading with being brain dead at the training. I think that’s the only way I made it through that week. Kelley Gallagher said it best, “I was better off sitting in my cubicle staring at my belly button and watching fuzz grow.”

I do have to make a more decent effort at not spending my days wishing I would just get up and shower so that I could sit at Barnes and Noble sipping tea and writing or reading as the afternoon sunlight streams in and causes a golden glow on the table tops. I also really want to check out the renovated main library. Apparently, best coffee shop in the area has a café in there. I should totally go and take advantage of reading smut magazines instead of rushing through them while waiting to check out at Wal Mart.

Next week the Mother arrives so that should be fun. And then after that, I think I have one official week of summer left before my times gets eaten away by the little work caterpillars. I must make the most out of this last bit of summer. Next year isn’t promising anything different and I will need all of the energy and I can gather up.

State of the Nation

2009-05-27T20:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, so not really the Nation, Nation, but my little nation, you know, my corner of the world.

Things have been ah. For like a week there, I was prancing on cloud nine. But here lately, things have hit a whole new level of suck. There have been broken cars, unwelcome houseguests, arguments, deceased pets, work disappointments, and new levels of negativity.

At this point, the only thing that keeps me going is that crazy optimism that lingers around even if it’s just a faint hint of fog in the air. The one where those major moments of joy and excitement play over and over.

I’m very excited that school is almost over. We have exactly seven days left. Well, eight if you count Saturday which I will be spending with the choir kids at Fiesta Texas. But really, who counts a field trip in which kids who actually like you get to hang out with you and you get to ride roller coasters? It will be a long day, but incredibly fun.

Bendita tu luz

2009-05-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

As she looked for another puzzle piece that fit, the light was in that dangerous zone of melancholy that Sunday night. “I didn’t tell you that the agency we were with closed.”

I felt my stomach drop with overwhelming sadness and impotence. “That’s terrible,” was all I could say. What else does one say at the sound of devastating news? I’m sorry?

Wednesday afternoon, I was sitting at my desk at school hammering out another word parts quiz for the kids when my phone rang. I can’t recall the exact greeting, but what I do remember is her voice on the other end saying, “I have a baby.”

“What?”

“I have a baby. The agency called me today. They have a baby girl for me.”

I remember thinking is this really for real? There were tears and congratulations and more tears.

It’s not every day that people’s dreams come true.

Dramatic Irony

2009-04-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

There is a person in my family that is really, really sick. She’s been sick for a while and most of us know, but there is one person that hasn’t been told, my mom. I know it’s wrong to hide such a big thing from her, but this person has decided that they would rather she not know since my mom’s health is pretty fragile as well.

So many misunderstandings have occurred because of this secret--things that if it were out in the open wouldn’t be much of a big deal. But there is nothing I can do. It is up to that person to come clean.

In the meantime, I continue talking with my mom and feeling like I’m watching a Shakespeare play with the dramatic irony unfolding right before me.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A couple months ago when I mentioned my niece being shipped out to war, it didn’t happen because she rolled her ankle and had to have surgery and a brace, etc.

Today she’s finally on her way. I say finally because that’s what she makes it sound like. She told me the other day that she wanted to leave already so that she could get back to see her little brothers.

Strange how she had to leave Easter weekend out of all the weekends. We’ve talked a bit on Yahoo when she wakes up and signs in on her phone. I need to find a St. George candle.

There are so many things I want to tell her, but I’m also trying to remain positive about the whole situation. I just hope she knows, knows how much I love her and hope she's safe and think about her.

Pre AP

2009-04-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

Last week for a meeting I was holding, I shared a “My Turn” piece from Newsweek about a mother who has an autistic son and a gifted daughter. She discussed the discrepancy in education between the two. She wonders what would happen if the education system spent even a portion of the funds dedicated to her special needs child on her gifted child.

Ironically, in this meeting, we were told that next year, we would no longer have Pre Advanced Placement Science. We went from Pre AP being offered for all core classes down to three, now it’s two. I wonder which will be the next to go. Perhaps the whole program will go away.

I know all this has to do with funding, but it still infuriates me. It’s so unfair how little is spent to foster some of the talents gifted children have. I suppose it goes with the culture of the country for the past eight years of placing little value on intelligence. Perhaps this will soon change…

The Con Artist

2009-03-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

This year has been one of many trials and tribulations. There have been times when I don’t know if I’m going to make it, and other times that I just want to cross my arms, give up, and pout. But I know that if I don’t go through that, then the cool things won’t be as cool.

Monday morning was our first day back from our Spring Break. Our tutoring time has basically turned into TAKS prep time for our homeroom students. This is a waste of time for my homeroom because they’re the Pre-AP bunch that has consistently done well on the exams. I’ve grown tired of bucking the system on this, so I’ve given in for the time being. Anyway, that morning, one of my students walks in and asks where she can put a tri-fold poster board. Even though my class is cluttered and overrun with student desks, my kids always ask me to hold stuff because I’m one of the few that will, I’m on the way out of the building, and I’m always there after school. So I didn’t think much of it. Later, curiosity got the best of me, so I opened up the tri-fold poster board.

Upon opening, I discovered Shakespeare information. This kid had gone home during the break and on her own, looked up more information, and put together this poster board and made it look “preeety.” I was shocked and honored. See, before the break, my students had done some research on Shakespeare’s life and times. Then we’d read some adaptations of King Lear, Twelfth Night, and Othello. The kids had really gotten into it. They were upset when the bell rang on Friday before we left for Spring Break because “it was just getting good!”

We finally finished reading Othello yesterday. We had such cool conversations about who was the real villain, what the characters could have done differently, what kind of injustices exist in our times and how they are similar to Shakespeare’s.

I shared this with the people at my training today, and one lady couldn’t believe I had gotten 7th graders so interested in Shakespeare. Then, when she thought I wasn’t hearing, she dismissed the idea of teaching this because she “woudn’t want to step on any toes,” meaning that Shakespeare should be reserved for high school. Well, that’s her opinion. In the meantime, I will continue conning my kids into learning things they might otherwise hate because someone may not take the time to draw them in.

Mr. Hinz

2009-03-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

On my Facebook status earlier this week, I posted about being on spring break and limiting the work to a maximum of three hours, which turned out to be a total lie. I spent three hours yesterday browsing bookshelves, doing research, typing up my quick start power point, and planning out lessons. I still have to grade some things, enter the grades onto the online system, find a decent Othello clip, create the Othello summary sheet, and type up my lesson plans. That could easily take up all of today and half of tomorrow. I don’t know that I’ll dedicate that much time, but I’m definitely dedicating the rest of the afternoon today.

So before I get back to school and life gets all crazy, I want to spend some time remembering one of the reasons I went into teaching.

I’ve always been one of those people that will bend backwards for friends and family. I mostly do this because it makes me feel good to help out others. When I was in high school, I had a friend who used to get to school really, really early. The band room didn’t open until 7:30 AM so a lot of times, she was left sitting outside for a long time. So me, being me, would get there really early, too. It also worked for me because I hated being seen walking to school on the other side of the canal and I really hated crossing the four lane street during morning rush hour.

We used to meet by the rock wall/bench in front of the hallway where most of our classes were. A lot of times we sat there doing homework or reading. When the chill of fall started to greet us in the morning, I’d often arrive to find the rock wall/bench empty. A few minutes later, my friend would come out of Mr. Hinz’s class, our Algebra teacher, and invite me to his class.

Mr. Hinz was this very tall and loud man. He walked with a limp and wore a brace on one of his knees. He once told us that he’d been injured while working on the Panama Canal when he was in the military. He had tons of toys and knick-knacks displayed throughout the classroom. He often wore vests and khaki shorts and a button that said “He with the most toys wins.” And he always, always had his radio tuned to the oldies station The Fox 92.3 FM. I loved going into his classroom because it was a place that I felt I could work.

My friend and I had the same exact schedule all day long. So of course, we would go everywhere together. When Mr. Hinz would see us walking down the hall, he would announce, “Here come the Bobbsey Twins!”

We would always giggle. It never bothered or embarrassed us. We just took it as one of the things Mr. Hinz did.

We had our blocked algebra class with him. He would teach his lesson, show us a couple of ways to find the answer, and give us time to practice. During the practice time, he would always turn on the radio to the oldies station. Sometimes, I would misbehave by talking or laughing too much during practice time. Surprisingly, he only kicked me out of his class once.

For Christmas, the class decided we wanted to have a gift exchange. We were an uneven number, so he threw his name into the hat. When the day of the exchange came, he gave me a box wrapped in the comics. I thought it was odd and he laughed at my face. When I opened it up, there was another box inside wrapped up nicely with post office paper and raffia bow. Inside was a beautifully crocheted white stocking. His wife had made it for me. It was something I hung onto for years. I’d never really had a stocking before that.

The next year, we had moved onto Geometry, so we no longer had Mr. Hinz. He had however nominated me for Honors Geometry since I had a consistent A average in his class. When he saw my friend and I in the hallway, he still continued to call us by our nickname. Sometimes he referred to us as “slothmores.”

The day of my graduation, I was elated to be done with high school. The future was chock full of potential. When I was walking around the grounds afterward to find my family, I ran into Mr. Hinz who gave me a hug and said, “You’re super kid.”

Such a simple little phrase that looks so cheesy on paper, but it’s something that’s stuck with me all these years. In a place where one could easily get lost in the masses, he made sure my friend and I were someone worthy of announcing in the hallway. He gave us a place to hang out and made sure we moved on with some knowledge of Algebra. He also made sure I knew what I was worth.

When the teaching worm starting working its way around my brain, I thought back to this experience. Mr. Hinz was part of this superhero teacher crew at our high school. The superhero teacher crew that cared about kids and wanted us to make it, and I owe it to him to pay it forward.

The Rubber Room

2009-03-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of months, as a means to maintain my sanity, I’ve taken to putting myself to sleep with a Podcast. I usually listen to Latino USA or recently, This American Life.

The other night, I was listening to This American Life #350 Human Resources. One of the segments was about The Rubber Room. In New York City, when a teacher can’t be fired because investigations are still being done they are sent to an office off campus where they wait, and wait, and wait until they are either terminated or reinstated. During this time, they are paid their full salaries and there are some who have been there for years.

When Dan the Man came to bed after a few rounds of Madden, I slurred the facts of the story to him. “What?”

More slurred, blurry facts.

“Whatever, you’re lying. You’re just dreaming and making this up.”

“No, I’m not. It’s true.”

Then, as quickly as I woke up, I passed out again. When I woke up the next day, I remembered the conversation and thought I must have been sleeping. So I listened to the Podcast again, and sure enough, I was right.

Since then, I’ve been having nightmares about work. These nightmares come at night or during my daydreams and I zone out while cleaning or showering. I doubt anything like that would happen to me, but it’s sad to think that it does happen.

I know some of those people are to blame and they probably did something ridiculously obtuse—something children should never have to witness. However, I know there are some in there that don’t deserve to be there, but because they used their voice, they got on someone’s crap list.

It also makes me wonder, is there such a place in Houston?

The Problem with Education

2009-03-14T17:24:00.000-07:00

I’ve been out of the loop this week because I had to make an impromptu visit to Dallas for a funeral. It was interesting to return home and check my usual websites and listen to my regular radio station and people were squawking about Education in America. I find it interesting that the people who make the most negative claims about education are normally those who have been out of the loop or have never even been in a classroom have the most to say.

They are right, public education for the most part sucks. It is not preparing the type of future generations that this nation or world needs. Here is what I see as the “problem” with education.

Teachers

There are some bad teachers in our schools. Heck, I know we have at least one confirmed bad teacher at our school. No, it’s not one that the administrators claim to be bad, but one that the kids have said is bad. Why do I listen to the kids? Because these kids have come to me to say, “Ms. we’re not learning anything in Mrs. X’s class. We have been reviewing the state mandated exam for a week now and we’ve been on the same question the whole time.” This same teacher refuses to adhere to our campus literacy plan, and she is a reading teacher. Also, she has awful classroom management. I’ve had to sub for her class and have witnessed it first hand—the lack of procedures, no “go to activity” when kids are done with work. Next year, she will still be around because she brown noses enough so that they find a way to keep her.

Then there are those who are there for the easy hours. And they truly are easy for them because as soon as their duty time is over, they are gone. Heck some of them are racing the kids to the parking lot. These teachers are kept around because their kids do fairly well on state mandated exams. And they should do well, this teacher’s lesson plans include a fair amount of test practice since it’s readily available material.

Lastly, teachers don’t use their voice outside the classroom. In our classrooms, we are the dictators. We create our own little worlds where we are the sole leaders and all must do as we say. But outside of that, we are followers. We allow those who are not aware of the ins and outs of our jobs to tell us what we need and should do. Those that do use their voice end up reprimanded or fired.

State Mandated Exams

I’m not against them. I think there should be some sort of exam that holds me accountable so that I don’t wake up one day and decide, I’d rather teach art than Language Arts. Plus, I want my kids to know how much they have learned. I want them to get their score back and know that they are capable.

However, I don’t want my entire life dictated by these exams. When preparation for these exams takes precedence over real learning there is a huge problem. Now some people may think, “Isn’t that the whole purpose? Shouldn’t you have to teach a certain amount of standards and then kids be tested on it to make sure you’ve taught what you need to teach?”

Yes, of course. But herein lies the problem, we are not just teaching a few standards, we are teaching load of standards. Currently, our English Language Arts Standards repeat each year. It would be impossible to teach any of those things in depth. That’s not going to help our cause. If I teach say roots and affixes at a superficial depth, do you think kids are going to remember next September? Some may, but most don’t. So next year’s teacher feels like they need to start all over again because “no one has taught these kids anything,” and when it’s all said and done, that teacher is only able to teach the same concept superficially because the kids didn’t learn it the first time. This happens year after year until the get to high school or college and the student realizes they really don’t know anything.

Sometimes the answer isn’t to add more to your plate, but to take some off. That’s what needs to happen here. This would change the way we teach. We may have to say goodbye to some of our favorite lessons, but maybe true learning will occur then—the kind that forces/allows kids to acquire knowledge.

Parent Involvement

Lastly, there is parent involvement in the higher grade. I can’t tell you the number of times I have called parents to discuss a student only to be hung up on or the phone has not been answered. I’ve sat in on numerous parent conferences knowing that everything I was saying or suggesting was going in one ear and out the other.

This week, I spent a few days with a second grader whose homework was to read 20 minutes and study math facts for 10. By the time 9 PM rolled around, she had done neither. Even if she had wanted to read, there weren’t any books around. It made me think of my students. Their parents are probably the same.

It is the job of parents and teachers to educate children. If a kid’s home life doesn’t value education, guess what the kid will do.

If anyone is going to truly do anything about education, they are going to have to read the research, employ some of the good theories out there, form a council of real teachers that are still in the classroom, and most importantly, not be so quick to judge. Good teachers bust their butts every day fighting an army of giants while answering 30 e-mails, grading papers, attending meetings, serving on committees, and delivering rock star performances to their students.

Tal vez me voy...

2009-02-03T21:14:00.000-08:00

Of Mishaps, Accidents, and Change

2009-01-31T11:12:00.000-08:00

I have not had very good days lately. Yesterday, I was sent home from work because my craziness got me all antsy and sickly. Today, in an attempt to clean the apartment for the impending Super Bowl festivities tomorrow, I managed to do the following:

Spill an entire bottle of perfume on the bathroom floor
Break the bucket used to hold the mopping solution
Proceed to get water all over the carpet and bathroom floor
Break off the top of the bath towel chest dropping everything that was on top of it on the wet bathroom floor
Slip on water and almost fall

I still have to wash dishes (I did manage to break a glass while doing dishes), get a haircut, and get my mail from the post office*. So much room for more accidents.

THEN, there was the botched project at work. I totally ruined this event we were planning because I was dilly dallying around. I really hope I can find a new work home for next year. I’m so done being a headless chicken. People say it’s me because I do like to work and be useful and make people happy, but I have had jobs that I’ve done all of the above and still had time to come home and cook dinner and exercise and spend time with people I love. I try to rationalize all the work that I do by saying, “It’s for the kids.” Because when you think about it, it does come down to being about the kids, but I can’t save the world. I have this mentality that believes that even if I don’t teach all those kids, I can touch their lives by educating their teachers. But I can’t because some of their teachers are headstrong or have better ideas or just don’t care, and I don’t have the power to change that. Maybe I will finally get the picture.

*There was a furnace explosion near the office at our complex. The explosion burned down two apartments, our mail center, and the office. Had I mentioned this before?

No. 44

2009-01-20T19:39:00.000-08:00

Oh my God, it is really, really true. I cannot even put into words the immense, overwhelming, absolutely wondrous feeling in my heart.

We Must Be the Change We Wish to See in the World...

2009-01-03T20:22:00.000-08:00

I saw that quote a couple weeks ago on a cup at the Barnes and Noble café. I’m not much of a quote person. I get too curious about what else it says and if it was taken out of context or what.

But that Gandhi quote really resonated with me.

All around, people keep squawking about change and things are actually changing. You could hear the earth rumbling last year and then it picked up speed at the end of ‘08. At times it seems like they’re coming so hard and fast, they might crush a few of us against the wall.

It’s a little daunting to think of what is to come. Normally, I’m the kind of person that enjoys change, but I don’t know what it is that has me freaking out. Perhaps it’s the uncertainty of it all. The fear of falling face first on the ground. I know all of these things are normal, but I hate feeling them. I want that hopeless optimism to kick in already, and at the same time, I know it probably won’t until I make peace with all of this change.

And really, what I put in is what I will get out of this whole experience enter the Gandhi quote. Overall, I think 2009 will bring more of the good stuff and less of the crap that 2008 spewed out at the end. If anything, The Bush will be out of office; so it really can’t be that bad.

When my butt starts scraping the dirt, the Gandhi quote will be my mantra.

No New Year's Resolution Here

2009-01-01T12:42:00.000-08:00

So it’s a New Year. 2009. I will be 29 later this year. I will have completed my fourth year teaching and start on my fifth. I’ll be eight years into a relationship. I will be one year away from thirty.

Someone asked me what my New Year’s resolution is this year and when I said, “Nothing.” They were shocked. They could not believe that I wasn’t setting a resolution.

When I was taking a writing class a couple semesters ago, our teacher said that he was always interested in writing a story that took place on New Year’s Day. He tried to explain why, but I had one of my J.D. moments where I get lost in thought. I knew exactly what he was talking about. How people think that this year will be the answer to all of their prayers. This year will be the year that they decide to change their lives for the better by not smoking or eating or spending so much time at work or spending less time in front of the TV and more time at the gym.

So many people write against New Year’s resolutions. Then there are those that set their lives to them. I fall in between, I guess. If I really think about it, I have fresh starts so many times a year. There is the end of the school year, my birthday, the start of a new school year, the start of a new semester, and then all of those moments during the year that I decide I should change things or the universe thinks I should.

I’m avoiding the resolutions this year, not because there aren’t things that I want to change in my life, but rather because when they come about, I don’t want to have to wait until January 1^st to do it. In the past, when I’ve made life-altering changes, the date had nothing to do with it. I want to get away from this idea that it must be done at a certain time.

Flight 2701 to Houston Hobby 3:05 PM

2008-12-27T22:48:00.000-08:00

I’m on my way back to Houston after a short holiday visit to El Paso. I have the most beautiful view of the Franklins from my gate. The clouds are rolling over the rumpled earth beneath them. Rolling toward the east, perhaps to meet me in the sadness that settles in every time I have to leave.

It was a great visit. I got to see all of the people that I love and miss. This visit, more than any other, cemented the idea that I have outgrown this place. I love it so much, and I wish that some day, I could come back to live here, but it’s not where I can make my home. The way that people treat one another would probably drive me crazy. I hate how some people think that they are above others.

I wish so much for my mom and brother to move to the Houston area. Things wouldn’t be peachy at first, but it would be so nice to have family around. Sometimes it is so lonely there. So many times there are things that happen that I wish I could have them around to vent or to share joy with. Perhaps someday.

In the meantime, all we have are cloudy skies and teary eyes.

Live and Direct from El Chuco

2008-12-21T18:57:00.000-08:00

Sitting at Barnes and Noble in El Paso having some coffee. Amazingly, the headache that I'd been nursing all day has gone away. Perhaps I am addicted to the caffeine now. What a sad state my life has become.

My rental car is complete awesomeness. It's a Toyota Matrix that uses up hardly any gas and can play my iPod.

I am enjoying time with the family. Haven't had many thoughts of work which should make many peeps happy although they requested NO thoughts of work. I suppose it's like my caffeine addiction, gotta take it slow.

When we leave here, I think we're going to go see the Christmas lights in the neighborhood over by Eastwood High. Haven't been there in a while. I hope the decline of the economy hasn't sucked out the Christmas spirit.

A List

2008-11-26T13:25:00.000-08:00

I have thought about updating for days now, but I’ve been stuck in classic me mode. The mode where I have so many things I want and need to do, but become paralyzed and do nothing. Same thing with this blog, so much to blog about, but I just don’t do it. Maybe I’ll try a list.

Lots of not great things have happened with family, friends, and students. You’d think I’d be in horrible spirits, but I’m not. All the things that are happening hurt, but it just seems like a part of life.
I attended NCTE in San Antonio last week. It was my first NCTE conference and was a bit over stimulated by the end of it. Naomi Shihab Nye made a special appearance at the Middle School Mosaic. Saw Sid Fleischman, Scott Westerfield, Kelly Gallagher, and got to chat with Jeff Anderson for a bit. Anderson is so tall. He truly is like a God. The coolest thing about the whole conference was seeing the CEO of Sesame Street with a special appearance by Grover.
My niece, Joann, was in town, too. I got to hang out with her and her husband. She is leaving for Afghanistan Monday, December 1. I usually have a good feeling about events, but I have no idea about this one. I hope she returns safely from her tour. The best-case scenario is that there would be no involvement in Afghanistan, but I doubt that’s going to happen.
I will be presenting at NABE in February. I will also be attending the Middle School Conference, and Tuesday I began my tutoring gig. Seems like things will be getting crazy busy once again. Maybe that’s the key to keeping my sanity.

I suppose I’m going to try to clear off some bookshelf space. Maybe I’ll put up the Christmas stuff…

The Fate of Palin

2008-11-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

As I thumbed through this week’s edition of Newsweek, I thought of what will happen to Sarah Palin when this election is over.

Last night, an interview with Palin was aired on 20/20. In the intro, they said something about 60-something days. It was shocking to me that she’s only been involved in this campaign that few days. The other guys have been going on a year and a half at least. They’ve become a common character in my life. If I want to know what ‘s going on with them, all I have to do is turn on the TV, pick up a magazine or newspaper, or check my e-mail.

Palin came on the scene and stole the attention like a bratty baby sister. McCain chose a woman for his VP pick! Sarah Palin is hot! She doesn’t know anything! Her daughter is pregnant! $150,000 was spent on her wardrobe! Etc.

Had I not voted already, I may have been more critical. However, since voting, I have been overcome with this overwhelming sense of hope. I did my part and so many people around me have, too and I have nothing to fear anymore. This isn’t ’04. I will not face election night with a knot in my stomach wishing for a fourth-quarter pipe dream.

So this morning, I wonder what will happen to Sarah Palin when she returns to Alaska.

Hope

2008-10-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

I have a memory of the day we got out for Winter Break my first year of teaching. We’d been given poinsettias at the annual Christmas luncheon and I also had a plant in my classroom that I wanted to bring home in hopes of keeping it alive. So I had a Xerox box loaded with the plants and the gifts I had received from students. I was driving home and a wall of clouds was creating a gray haze that was shielding the sun. I remember stopping at a gas station and wanting to scream. I was so excited about being free for the next two weeks.

When I’m stressed or knee deep in work, I like to revisit my collection of memories that evoke this feeling of freedom. As I sit here chipping away at my freelance project, I can feel that such a moment is near.

Dolores and Bernice

2008-10-17T21:44:00.001-07:00

Work has pretty much been sucking up any of my free time, which is why I haven’t been around. I’m really behind on my freelance project so I’ll be dedicating my weekend to it. I just sent in my first batch of stuff and I’m a little nervous and excited.

Things are pretty much back to normal around these parts. At times there is a harsh reality check, like when I briefed on a new student I received earlier this week. Her family lost everything during the storm. I was really happy to see the kids taking to her right away.

There are some good and bad things that have happened, but it’s late and I’m tired. I will tell you though, I made the big switch from PC to Mac. It’s the coolest, best thing I’ve done in a while. Dolores, my Mac, makes me so happy. I love having her. Oh, and today, my brain was named Bernice. Peace out.

Don’t forget to vote!!!

Really? This is newsworthy?

2008-09-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

Tough talk from Mayor WhiteTuesday, September 23, 2008 7:15 PM By Ted Oberg HOUSTON (KTRK) --

As if he didn't have enough to do, Houston Mayor Bill White is explaining his tough language to some FEMA visitors from Georgia.

It happened in the days just after Ike when it seemed like everyone was frustrated and stressed.

In storms like this, FEMA sends crews from all over the country to help manage the disaster. One of those crews came from Georgia to dispatch trucks of food and ice to points of distribution, or PODs. Mayor White thought they weren't getting the job done and the governor of Georgia got offended when White told them so.

Surrounded by trash, living with marginal power and dealing with the long effects of a storm can make people angry.

"They ain't picked up my (expletive) trash yet," said resident Third Ward Kenneth Allen. "Hell yeah, I still feel the effects of the storm."

We're not proud of it and it doesn't sound real nice, but when there's no AC, heated language is a little understandable, maybe even coming from our Mayor White.

Last Tuesday morning, Mayor White visited the thousands of people in line at the TSU POD. All the supplies had been sitting overnight at Reliant Stadium. The mayor wasn't happy.

"That is not going to happen again," said Mayor White to the media in the days after the storm.
What he didn't say from that podium is that before the trucks started rolling, some tough words rolled off his tongue. According to a city witness, he told some FEMA workers from Georgia dispatching trucks, to "Get those (expletive) trucks moving" and "You better get your (expletive) act together."

Apparently, those Georgia workers' feelings bruise easier than a Georgia peach. They tattled on our mayor and the Georgia governor wrote Texas Governor Rick Perry a letter saying, "I would not tolerate the profane berating of Texas or Georgia volunteers here...and I trust that you do not either."

Governor Perry wrote back, saying he was dismayed and offered his sincerest apologies.
"Now there's a feud between Georgia and Texas," said Allen.

People who stood in the long TSU lines don't think our mayor needs to do a thing.
"I commend the mayor," said Allen. "Because if someone dropped the ball, he should get on their (expletive)."

"I think he's human," added Third Ward Tonya Wyche. "I think he's stressed and I would've said something worse than that."

Tuesday in Washington, the mayor explained his words and isn't backing down.
"I always feel bad if I hurt someone's feelings," he said. "I was trying to get people moving quicker and trying to provide a little incentive to do so."

If not for the involvement of two governors, this sure would seem like a little deal. And it does seem like a little deal to the guy who supervises the Georgia workers. He told me on Tuesday that they've been yelled at by a lot more people than Mayor White and they understand how he lost his cool.
____________________________________________________________________

I can't believe anyone would waste time writting letters and complaining about this. The truth is, while Perry and Bush twiddle their thumbs, White has been working his butt off to make sure his people have what they need. If the twits sitting at Reliant, with trucks full of supplies that people need, don't understand, they deserve to be talked to in this manner. Lucky for them, it was only White yelling at them.

Back to School

2008-09-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

I got up at 6 AM today in preparation for my re-back to school morning tomorrow. That’s right, re-back to school. I have not been to work since September 11th. I won’t see my students until Monday, which means they will have lost eleven instructional days. ELEVEN. That’s a lot of time. I don’t know what the plan for makeup is. I think it all depends on how much time The State grants.

In some ways, it’s been nice to have the time off. In a moment of panic the other day, I worked several hours on freelance project and did quite a bit, now if I could only coax myself to type the darn thing up. Last night, I read my new Newsweek almost cover to cover. I watched a movie a day, cooked meals at home, spent time with The BF, kept the house clean, and did all of my laundry.

Right before the storm, things were really intense. My mom was in town, and still, I couldn’t drag myself away from work earlier than 6:00 PM, and when I got home, I still managed to work another hour or so. I don’t know if I’ll go back to the same. Knowing myself, I probably will. Still, I wish I wouldn’t.

Last night, we went to Starbucks for a snack and there was a girl, probably in her 20’s, curled up on one of the armchairs with a copy of White Oleander. I could tell she had been there a while because her medium cup of iced tea and large cup of water were half full. I wish I could do that, too. I wish I had time to sit and read for hours like that. Usually, when things are crazy, I still make time to read an article or a chapter from something I enjoy. Sometimes my eyes are so tired that I resort to audio books. But it’s not the leisure expressed by the pose of Reading Starbucks Girl.

Perhaps el Ike meant to make me have a re-start so that I get things right this time, so that I don’t forget that I have to watch out for me.

Here are some pics of Ike’s visit.

Not my building. The guy who lives there was asleep when this happened. He and his family were moved to another apartment. Here is what was under it when it collapsed.

Not sure whose vehicle this is. They probably parked on the lawn because our parking lot tends to flood.

Glad this didn't become something for Ike to blow around.

This was a common image. Again, I'm glad they weren't torn off and blown around.

Slacker Uprising

2008-09-23T00:09:00.000-07:00

Michael Moore's new movie Slacker Uprising can be viewed for free!

The Aftermath

2008-09-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

We've all got all of our limbs, fingers, and everything in tact. I have some pictures to post that Dan the Man took while looking for some provisions, but I can't find the cable to upload pics onto the laptop.

I know that we are so much more fortunate than others and I am so grateful for it. I don't know who was looking out for us, but they did a great job.

El Ike

2008-09-12T19:01:00.000-07:00

I'm hunkering down near downtown Houston awaiting the wrath of Ike. I don't know what anyone did to him, but he's pretty upset. I don't think much will happen to us though. I have a strong feeling it's all going to be okay.

Hi Ate Us

2008-09-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

My updates are going to be scarce around here. I have a ton of start of year stuff to prepare. The cool thing is that if I do a good job now, next year, I won’t feel like I’m running on a 15 mph treadmill at my 3 mph rate.

I’m enjoying my side gig. It’s been very enlightening. I don’t know how much I can share, but I will tell you that it’s got to do with education.

I’m really enjoying my students this year. More than half are the kids I had at the start of last year. Today, we had another one of those “buzz” moments. I took them to the library for the first time, and when we came back, they had ten minutes of silent reading time. Even my rowdiest class was quiet and reading the entire time. In one class, I had some whiners, saying “I HATE to READ! I’m not going to read!” at the library. Once the librarian or I got a good book in their hands, they were upset when I made them stop. I felt bad, but I really needed to show them a video to prepare them for one on tomorrow’s assignments.

Aside from work, not much else has gone on. I watched a couple of movies last weekend. Martian Child was pretty cool. I really enjoyed it. I also saw Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead that was sort of twisted and sad. Lastly, I saw a good chunk of Beautiful it had that cute little girl from Paulie and the Pepsi commercials. It was a good chick flick.

My mama flies in tomorrow. I’m so giddy. She’s finally going to meet the bf’s parents. It should be fun.

Hope I can update sooner than later!

Return to the Daily Grind

2008-08-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the lack of updates. As you can imagine, or perhaps you know, school has started up again. The kids returned on Tuesday. Last week and weekend, I was really nervous about the school year because I have one new duty and I also took on a freelance project. On top of that, I had a few meetings to prepare.

When I went to pick up my homeroom from the gym, there was a little cheer when the counselor said, “Ms. Baeza’s homeroom come on down!”

I was a little worried about that. I like enthusiasm, but not when they’re going to be with me for a couple hours. When we got back to class and I started my first day spiel, it was all good. At the end of the day, I was really happy. The buzz that teachers talk about, the one that happens when kids are learning, could be heard several times yesterday and today.

I left school at 8 PM today, but I there wasn’t any resent. I still have some prep work to do right now, but I’m okay with it. I know it’s going to be a good year. I have great students, almost a year of 7th grade experience under my belt, great colleague, and a good plan of where I’m going.

Olympic Observations or Procrastination

2008-08-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of things to do today, but I stayed up way too late last night/this morning. I don’t feel like doing anything, so I figured I would start and hopefully complete an entry instead of getting in the shower.

Part of the reason I was up last night was because I was glued to the Primetime edition of the Olympics. I wanted to make sure Phelps got his two medals and I’ve always been partial to gymnastics.

Here are a few of my observations categorized by good and bad.

Beijing 2008—The Bad

One of the things I’ve complained about since opening day about these Olympics is some of the commentary. I don’t know the names of all the hosts/commentators on NBC save for Bob “Big Head” Costas or Matt Lauer, so I will call many of them the dude or the chick.

Costas and Lauer annoyed me with some of their comments during the Parade of the Nations (my favorite part of any opening ceremony) because they poked fun at the clothes some of the different countries wore. Perhaps some of the garb seems ridiculous to you, but you are on a television station that can be seen around the world. The other thing that annoyed me is that as Guatemala marched in, one of them talked about the guy carrying the flag, Kevin Cordon who is their badminton player, and said, “He might as well go home because China has the gold medal locked in on this one.”

D-dawg was annoyed that they kept saying, “Such and such country has NEVER won an Olympic medal.” After seeing the magnitude of the U.S. Olympic team, D-dawg said, “Well, no wonder we win so many medals! They should take that into account when tallying up medal counts.”*

I know it’s their job to talk and fill us in on these little tidbits, but watch what you say. Ethnocentric much?

Then, last night, when the U.S. Women’s Gymnastic team was done and they were interviewing they team, the woman/chick would not lay off Alicia Sacramone about her mistakes. I mean, I get it that they could have taken gold and they had a chance and yadda yadda yadda, but it happens! People fall off the beam or miss a landing or step out of bounds. And from all the camera in your face shots of Alicia after her last two events, you could tell, she was beating herself up over it, why lay into her in the interview? I just wanted to reach through the TV, take the mic, and whack Mrs. Interviewer over the head and tell her to shut up. They could have not placed. They could sucked it up on all of the events and came in last place. Leave her alone already!

The Good

It was awesome when the men’s relay team beat the French in the pool. I’m not partial to smack talk. In fact, in politics, when people put out negative ads, each time I see one, I loose a bit of respect for them. I firmly believe there is a high and low road, and I like it when people take the high road.

The other good is that I’ve noticed more diversity in the U.S. Olympians. When I saw Raj Bhavsar, I thought it was so freaking cool. Then when I heard how he was an alternate and this was really his last chance to be in the Olympics, I was even happier. The icing on the cake was that his hometown is Houston.

I’m also super excited about the Lopezes who are competing in Taekwando next week. Ahem, also from the Houston area. And lets not forget Bernard Lagat and Lopez Lomong.

Prior to the start of the games, I had read an article about how some countries import their athletes and I thought it was unfair and certain the U.S. did this. But some of them they didn’t import; they’re actual home grown peeps with some spice. I think that’s awesome.

*Neither of us had paid much attention to prior Olympics. We watched them here and there, but not like we have this year. I suppose the giant TV helps. D-dawg says it’s not “giant,” but it is to me! I’ve always had a 21” TV; this is like twice as big!

Little Big Planet

2008-08-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

Growing up, I had a Sega. I loved all the Sonic games. My absolute favorite was Sonic Spinball which I was never able to beat. Still, I was never really the kind to becomes obsessed with video games.

Now, we own a PS3 and a Nintendo DS. There's been talk of a Wii, but no final decision has been made. I mostly play on the DS, but I'm really looking forward to Little Big Planet. It might even make me a video game obsessed junkie.

Observing

2008-08-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

It’s 6ish and I'm at the local Barnes & Noble Café.

It’s the first time I’ve been here all summer. Mostly because I’ve been too lazy to leave the house or because my late nights force me to do the house cleaning when I’d normally be here. Today, I bribed myself with a Chai Latte if I came here to work on my syllabi.

It’s pretty empty. People are probably at home having dinner, fresh from work, which probably felt like a Monday if they were forced to take the day off yesterday.

My usual seat next to the trash can was taken by a kid who had his headphones on and the volume turned up loud enough for me to hear. I sat two tables down. I have a clear view of the potential US Travel shopper as well as the Bargain Books section.

Before I had to turn up my iPod because of the loud father and daughter duo, I overheard the woman one table in front of me say into her phone, “Estoy leyendo. Ahorita te caigo.”

She’s about 200-250 pages into a Sherrilyn Kenyon book. She’s got a young girl with her and they’ve both been in a reading trance for a while. I smile at them behind my Grande Chai because they don’t look like “readers.” Not that I have an idea of what “readers” look like, but I know some people do.

An old man with a cane came a while later with a loaded B&N bag. He sat across from my favorite seat and looked through his bag. After the kid left, he took half his stuff and set it down on my favorite spot. Then he went and got the rest of it. He started looking through his mail and has been diligently reading and tearing up his stack.

For a while, I was busily highlighting through the last couple chapters of Kelly Gallagher’s Deeper Reading in hopes of getting down the elusive “best way for me to teach.” But when I stopped for a breath and look around, I had to take a break and tell you about my surroundings.

With my ear buds plugged in, I feel like I’m watching a movie. Here I am, having my own Regina Spektor concert watching a movie reel of people’s secret moments with books, mail, friends, a cup of coffee, or a cupcake. Perhaps it’s sick that I sit here and glance with curiosity at the couple in the Relationship section hug and laugh as they look through books or the two ladies who look like they just got off work and met for some “girl time” before going home to their families, but these are just the things that make me enjoy life so much.

For all I know, someone is doing just the same thing to me. Wondering what it is I’m typing or listening to and notice how my eyes begin to wander as I look perfect word…

Edouard

2008-08-05T07:32:00.000-07:00

Back when I was in college and still living at my sister’s house, Caro would often stay with me when my sister and her hubby went out of town.

One of those times, we were driving home from perhaps a usual Friday dinner when we noted the ominous gray clouds. It was summer; so of course, there was a chance of some sort of crazy weather.

She talked about the possibilities and mentioned a hurricane. All I could think about was that song that says, “El hura-can-can-can!” After a while, much like Homer, it got the best of me and I blurted it out.
*****
Yesterday when the local, alarmist media began reporting on good ‘ole Eddie, people dashed off to Wal Mart making it seem like it was Christmas in August (bummer it wasn’t July!). I was surprised the even Target looked busy from the parking lot.

My school district closed (not like I was going to work anyway!), as did many non-essential businesses.

I was driving around doing some errands when my sister called. As usual, I didn’t hear the phone ring until the voice mail alert sounded. Retrieving my message, the first thing she said was, “El hura-can-can-can!”

It’s all good around here. It’s not an hura-can-can-can, but a tropical storm which is some wind and rain—nothing we’re not used to in these parts.

All summer long, I was wishing for a rainy day. I guess all my wishing built up into this storm.
As soon as I’m done with this, I’m planning to set down the lap top and settle into my recliner with my favorite throw blanket and a book.

Ode to the Cana

2008-08-04T00:13:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my mom was always concerned about her canas. It wasn’t uncommon for my mom to don a large black trash bag around her shoulders to protect her clothes from the jet black, goopy concoction massed in her hair.

The message was clear canas=the enemy.

In my early twenties, when I came across my first enemy, I examined it carefully in my 10X mirror. Was it simply a light colored hair or was it a legit cana?

When I determined that it, in fact, was a cana, I plucked it out. A few weeks later, it came back…with a friend. This time, I doused them in Cherry Jubilee goop.

After a rinse and some air dry time, it was made known that Thing One and Thing Two were resistant to such a thing. Unlike the rest of my hair, they’d only taken a smidgen of the hue. My canas were demure ladies on a date.

Gabi was the first to begin questioning the canas=the enemy theory when she stopped dying her hair. Suddenly, I became ultra aware of them.

I noticed how the less you mess with them, the cooler they look. Men with the salt and pepper look pretty nice. But my most remarkable observation was that many of these academic types I admired were cursed with them. Because they were associated with one of my pedestal dwelling ideas, my point of view shifted and my analogy did as well: canas=intelligence.

Now every new sapling is celebrated in my 10X mirror. I run my fingers across my hair in search of them and stare in wonder as the reflection of light glistens in the reflection of the mirror like a shooting star.

Breakthrough Award

2008-08-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

The Breakthrough

In my last post, I talked about the issue of sleep. I’ve had a breakthrough here recently. Yesterday, I actually woke up before my usual 2 PM and I didn’t even have anything to do. Although I did manage to clean up a little, hang up “art,” and run a few errands. This morning I was awake by 8 AM thanks to my alarm and having gone to been before midnight.

The coolest thing about waking up early was being able to watch Sunday Morning, Meet the Press, and This Week. I also had some early morning coffee. There are still several hours left in the day and I feel ahead of the game.

The rest of the day holds more errands and some quality time with the printed and soon to be printed word.

The Award

Not Quite Grown Up, who is starting her first year as a full fledged teacher (and a great one she will be), merited me with an award. An award! I think it’s awesome when people list me on their links.

The coolest thing about this award is the rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Add links to these blogs on your blog.
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

I like the idea of paying it forward. Without further adieu, here are my nominees:

Annette--because whenever the homesickness sets in, I can always visit her site to calm the senses.

Bad Texas—a fellow proud Texan, UH Alumni, and just plain cool.

CAD—she takes awesome pics and is living out her dream.

Cracked Chancla—another woman living out her dream. I hope I get to visit el Tianguis soon.

Cindylu—she inspired me to revamp my blog and raised my awareness to so many issues. Plus, she’s almost a Doctora in an issue I care about deeply.

ElenaMary—inspiring in so many ways. If only we could all be half the activist she is.

El Chavo—his useless kitchen tools crack me up, the HR posts make me drool (even the bad ones because I always imagine my mom’s delicious HR’s), and his pictorial tours of are cool.

Gwen—who provides tales of shopping, Metro rides, and the whirlwind that is publishing.

Because I am a rule follower, I must stop at seven. However, anyone over on my links list is a nominee.

Sleepless Wedding Dress Video

2008-07-28T04:12:00.000-07:00

El Insomnio

This summer, more than ever, I’ve been having sleep issues. At the beginning of the summer, I was used to my school schedule. I’d fall asleep around 11 or 12 and wake up around 7 AM.

But the week before the trip to El Paso everything got all screwy. I was staying up late almost every night preparing for my presentation.

Then, when I returned from El Paso, things just got worse. I’d stay up later and later until I wouldn’t fall asleep until the sun was coming up.

Now that I’ve had training to attend, I usually sleep two to four hours. It’s always the same. I go to my bedroom at around 11 PM, watch TV or read, and before I know it, it’s 2 AM. I force myself to go to sleep. Then when I least expect it, I wake up wondering what time it is. I realize its 2 or 4 hours later and can’t go back to sleep.

Because I hate lying there idly, I get out of bed and annoy the cats by turning on the lights and making coffee. Probably not the best thing to do, but it’s one of my favorite things about waking up early, having the time to make coffee and watch the morning news.

The Wedding Dress

Long ago, I planned on getting married at some point. Nothing has been done about it really. For me, both of us being on the lease is enough.

Sure, I used to plan Barbie weddings, but they were not ever my own. Sunday nights, when I watch Bridezillas, I revel in the joy of not being them especially that lunatic in the video below.

My mom, however, has a different view.

When I spoke to her the other day, she was so excited about a wedding dress she saw at the Goodwill store. When her friend asked her why she was so interested in it, she said, “Para la Georgina, la mas chiquita. Ella se quiere casar.”

I was touched by the tone in her voice; it was like a joy with a hint of joy smothered with love. I’ve been thinking about it a lot trying to capture the tone in words. I might hit replay on that conversation* hoping to hear it again.

*I was trying to link the story, but I realized it’s from one of my mom stories that I’m currently collecting. Anyway, my mom often tells you the same stories if you call her frequently. She calls it darle vuelta al cassette.

Muddled

2008-07-14T04:49:00.000-07:00

Recently, there was a big fight over the revised English Language Arts state mandated curriculum. It appears that one group of people wanted to remove comprehension and increase the stress on teaching fluency. They also wanted to take grammar out of the writing process.

Many of us were up in arms and complained, but the board still had their way. They voted and passed a version of the TEKS (Texas Essential Knowledge Skills) that was not what had been put up on the web site or the version a group of English teachers had revised.

And now, this. The ire is causes.

I’ll be happy when someone with some sense are on the Board of Education. Currently, it is not a requirement to have any experience in education to be on the board. While sometimes we need outside perspective, not having a true idea of what effects your decisions are having on millions of children is a huge problem.

The problem with education is that it has become muddled by so much red bureaucratic tape and loss of power. These people need to step back and really listen. There are so many of us wanting to do powerful things for our students, but stopped or disillusioned because of them.

From the Vault

2008-07-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

My little blue flash drive that I got when I was still in college has finally run out of space. Because I know that I have multiples of some files, I decided I should clear up some space to keep adding stuff to it.

Anyway, I found what seems to be a blog entry that I never posted. This was typed up 12/29.2006...

As I sit/sat here in the wee hours of the morning, listening to my favorite Counting Crows album (Hard Candy), chipping away at my brain for words and ideas, I’m reminded of one of my favorite places on the UH campus, the library. It is one of the things I miss most about college. Unlike most students at U of H, who hardly or never set foot in the library, I was there almost on a daily basis.

In my early college days, I didn’t know how to use the library. I’d end up frustrated and running to the internet or bookstore to find enough info to write my papers. It is of no surprise that most of those papers were really a piece of crap. I haven’t seen one lately, but I’m sure they were. On top of that, I had just learned to use a pc and I’m certain I’d been using something other than word to type them which made them esthetically horrid.

Moving from El Paso to Houston didn’t automatically make me a library expert. In fact, I’m sure that I still didn’t know how to use a library when I got here. It was slowly and with the help of many people that I learned about all the different sections of the library. There were some I spent a lot of time in and others I never set foot in (which is really pretty sad).

But my favorite thing to do at the library was sit in a cubby and study or write. I remember the year I got stuck with the ghastly schedule in which I worked most of the day and had class at night, I’d leave work and spend the rest of the afternoon on the fourth floor in a cubby in front of the window translating Chaucer as I listened to some music.

Going to the library, I always had to go alone too. It never worked if I went with someone else because I would talk or they’d want to leave.

Or, they could accidentally throw off my routine: As I was leaving work or class, I’d plug myself up to my musical device. Upon arriving at the library, I’d pick up a Daily Cougar on my way inside. I’d usually take the older elevator because if there were too many people milling around, I’d take the stairs across from them. When I found an appropriate cubby (if mine had been taken), I’d sit down and take out my books, notebooks, and pens (I usually carry at least three pens and pencil). Then, I’d read the Daily Cougar, maybe do a little free writing to clear the brain, and then start my homework.

Inevitable

2008-07-01T20:25:00.001-07:00

Since my last entry, a few things have occurred. For example, I turned one year older. My new profile picture was taken during my birthday celebration. It was a fun evening with delicious food.

I also started a three week period of nothingness. There are no staff developments. The only work I have is to keep the house clean and whatever else I decide to do.

I also made the epic journey home and back. The goal of the visit was to help my mom settle into her new apartment. Mid-March, my mom had a stroke. It was a really hard blow. It made me look at the people around me with two living, healthy parents and wonder why I mine had to be sick. It made me very angry.

Fortunately, my mom was able to overcome the effects of her stroke. Although at times she forgets or says the wrong word, she’s doing well. Her CT scan found that her brain had not bled. And now that she’s on her own again, her zest for life is back.

Still, on the drive home, I couldn’t help but think about the inevitable. One day, I will be driving back toward Houston and there won’t be a mom waiting to hear if I’ve made it to Ft. Stockton or San Antonio yet. I know that the empty feeling I had when I found out about her stroke will be ten times worse. I will probably go around saying “Aye Amá,” like my own mom did when hers passed away. Eventually, I will get used to it, but what seems so difficult now, is that I don’t know how I will.

For now, I know that I need to enjoy her as much as I can and do as much I can to make her as happy as possible.

WHAT???

2008-06-13T15:58:00.000-07:00

That was my reaction to Tim Russert’s death. Meet the Press and This Week are my Sunday morning indulgences. It’s going to be strange this Sunday.

Brief and Wondrous

2008-06-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was tickled to see that Sunday Morning was airing a story on Junot Diaz this week.

It’s been an adventure for some of my friends to get a copy of Diaz’s The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. At one Barnes and Noble, my friend was told, “we are a didactic book store and we stock what our customers want.’

Her reply was to order five copies, four of which she never intended to pick up. She also said to the sales person, “This book is going to blow up. Do you know what that means? People, my friends, are going to come in looking for it and I hope you have some in stock.”

After allowing another friend to read the first chapter, she was immediately drawn into the story. “I’m going to go get it after we get done here.”

“Be sure not to go to Barnes and Noble.”

“Why?”

“Because I bought their only copy.”

“What do you mean?”

“This was the only copy they had when I went to get mine. (I only got it there because I had an extra discount.) I’m pretty sure they haven’t replaced it yet.”

She didn’t listen to my warning and there weren’t any new copies.

Anyway, that’s all beside the point. The point is that it’s awesome he’s getting more media coverage. All real people accounts I have read and heard about this book are positive. So it’s nice that for once the critics and the readers agree.

La Naca

2008-06-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

Growing up, I always thought the Cheros (cowboys) at my high school were such chuntaros. My friends and I used to laugh at their chingamelavista lime green boots, painted on Wranglers, and motley-colored cowboy shirts. When they cruised through campus in their supped up pick up trucks blaring Ramon Ayala y Los Tigres del Norte, I would turn up whatever grunge band I had playing on my Walkman.

Since I’ve left home, I’ve become quite a fan of “chero music.” As I told my mom a while back, “me estoy haciendo bien naca.”

I am such a naca now, that I almost jumped out of my seat when I was able to download the newest Intocable cd 2C before midnight.

Status Update

2008-06-08T14:31:00.001-07:00

Friday was the last day I got to spend n the building I began teaching. Come mid-July, all of my classroom things will be in a brand new building. The old building, which was “condemned,” will be repaired to house a middle school (grades 5-6).

Of course, it was only fitting that my friend and I be the last ones to leave. As with any move, there was a lot of work to be done. However, we had a lot of buildup from teachers past in novel cabinets, closets, and filing cabinets. When 7PM rolled around and my friend still had seven banker boxes full of files from teachers past to go through. By this time, we had fully pledged to our mantra: I am a much better teacher than that. So when she suggested throwing it all away, I was ecstatic.

I didn’t have a final moment with my room. Not only did I not have time, but I don’t really buy into that type of sentimentality. The future was on my mind, the prospect of our new school, our new work family, my new students, and my new responsibilities.

I am very happy that summer is here. There are so many projects that I want to dive into but have not had the time.

Can You Smell Hope?

2008-06-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

I’ve been trying to stay off the politics topic here because it really chaps people’s hide. For a while there, many of us were in agreement: Bush sucks and he needs out. Now that we have the chance for that, ideas have diverged--which is cool.

Often when people talk politics around me, I tend to do a lot of listening. I’ve mentioned before why it is that I support Obama. I understand that a lot of people think he’s green and won’t do a good job and then there are all the rumors of him being a secret Muslim and he won’t swear on the bible and that the media owns him, but I still got the dude’s back.

As I end my third year of teaching, I can’t help but think back on my interview almost three years ago. I don’t think the principal, at the time, really wanted to hire me. I had no teaching experience. I had this dreamy view of what teaching would be like. I’d go in there and be like Ms Dangerous Minds or something. I think the principal sensed this and gave me a really hard time. He asked me some questions that are not normally asked. I know this now because I have been on my share of interview committees.

Not only that, from asking around, I was the only one that had to go back to a second interview with potential colleagues. Nonetheless, I was given a chance and I think I have truly proved myself to them. I consider myself a valuable asset to our campus. Sure, I made some mistakes, but I never stop trying or learning. When I’m dying to go home or wake up and think about calling in because I just want time off, the end result, the kids, always force me to hang in there.

So yeah, Obama may be green, but that doesn’t mean he won’t do a good job. I honestly feel that his heart is in this, and he truly understands the repercussions his choices will have on the people. Finally, the playing field has leveled out.

Accomplishments

2008-05-28T19:40:00.001-07:00

These last couple of days, I’ve been giving up some of my conference period to attend some of my former students’ Rights of Passage presentations. Rights of Passage, or ROP, is this new school-wide program that we adopted that has kids look at the good things they have done for themselves and their community. It’s supposed to make kids feel like Middle School weren’t just those awkward years we all remember.

When they talked to us about this program at the beginning of the year, I was confused. Then, I thought it was a drag. Then, I just sort of paid no mind to it unless I had to. But now, I think it’s really, really cool.

As grown ups, we are constantly needing to take stock in our life. When the invisible monkeys the Universe hires, fling their poo at us or in our general direction, we have the tendency to look at what is good in our lives and remember that things will and do get better. For some of us, this skill wasn’t learned until much later in life. Given the lives of some of the students at our school, I think it is important for them to learn to do this now.

I still have two more to attend, but I’ve really enjoyed going to them. Being the total sap that I can be, I thought I would be crying through some, but I haven’t. I’ve just been so happy to see all of the great things some of these kids have done. Kids who I had two years ago and still want to share their accomplishments with me. My favorite part is when they say, “In five years, I see myself…” because in my mind, there is no doubt that they will be where they imagine.

It is a pleasant end to a rough, rough year. It reminds me what it is that convinced me to go into this profession: kids jammed packed with potential.

B&N Disappoints

2008-04-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

J.P.’s post made me think of my evening yesterday. I had originally set out to find a pair of sensible shoes, the kind that will look good when I have to dress up and my loafers won’t do. Since it was Sunday, everything closed early.

I parked my car on one end of the shopping center and decided to walk my way down in hopes of finding a store that stayed open past 6 P.M. One of the stores that I passed was Barnes and Noble. Now, B&N has never been my favorite bookstore, but I end up there a lot because it’s the only one near by.

I decided to go in because I’d read in the Houston Press that the Ask A Mexican book was now in paperback and I also was considering buy Junot Diaz’s Pulitzer Prize Winning The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.

I was really disappointed—yet again—by B&N. I had to go dig through the stacks to find a copy of each. I would have thought that they’d at least have the Diaz book on one of their shelves near the front. I mean, he did win the Pulitzer.

Needless to say, I left with nothing. I really didn’t feel like investing my time in money at this place. Junot Diaz’s Pulitzer Prize Winning The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.

I was really disappointed—yet again—by B&N. I had to go dig through the stacks to find a copy of each. I would have thought that they’d at least have the Diaz book on one of their shelves near the front. I mean, he did win the Pulitzer.

Teacher's Lounge

2008-04-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

Since taking the position in 7th grade, I don’t use the teacher’s lounge very much. Most of the time, I eat in my classroom so that I can keep working. Yes, that caused me the freak out earlier this year, but lately, I’ve been way better about how late I stay and the workload I take home.

When I was doing cohort training the summer before my first year and in my university classes, we were always told not to hang out in the teacher’s lounge. It was described as a breeding ground of negativity—at times, it really is.

Today, after extended day, some of the kids missed the bus. It was partly my fault because I made them stay so the kids with perfect attendance got an extra prize. It was also the fault of the bus driver because after one kid got on, she took off like a bat out of hell. Because I hate to leave kids waiting alone, I hung out until their parents came to get them.

We were in the entrance of the school sitting on the sofas, and one kid said, “Ms. can I look in here? I’ve always been curious.”

“Sure,” I said as I opened the door for him.

He walked in and immediately sat down at one of the three tables and propped his feet up on the table. “What are you doing? We eat on those. Get your feet off!”

Two of the other kids waiting wandered in and took a seat at the other two tables. “Wow! It’s cool in here!”

“You should see when there are no kids, a disco ball pops down out of the ceiling,” I said.

“I’m sure,” he replied. Then he looked around and said, “You guys have a vending machine!”

“How much is the stuff?” asked the first kid.

“Fifty cents! That’s cheap!”

“Whoa, what’s in there?” asked kid number one as he wandered in to the kitchen area. “A coke machine!” He walked out and asked, “Can I buy one?”

I nodded my head yes. It was so funny to see them so amazed by a simple room. I don’t really know if I should have let them in there; however, I don’t see the harm. I remember as kid always wanting to be the kid Mrs. Rutherford chose to fill her cup with ice, so I could see the inside of the teacher’s lounge.

Shifting Focus, Old Friends, La Doctora

2008-04-24T23:43:00.000-07:00

Shifting Focus

This Saturday is the last Saturday I have to work. I am so excited! It’s been fun though. Usually, before the TAKS test, we have what we call “extended day.” This is when kids stay later or come in on Saturdays to work on skills they need to pass TAKS. Usually, it’s by invite for the kids who struggle in class. Teachers try to do fun lessons; there are snacks, prizes, and some gym time. This year however, we had the crazy idea to do this for the kids taking the EOC (End of Course Exam given to Pre AP students a week after TAKS). We’ve had a really good time reading one of Robert Karimi’s poems. Saturday, they will create a blog with a literary analysis on Karimi’s poem and an MLK Speech. Should be cool. I’ll also be glad to have my Saturday mornings back next week.

I’ve shifted my focus back to students and in turn, it’s made me so much happier. I fake the good mood when I’m tired or lazy, and it rubs off on the kids, they behave, and make me want to be there. Kids are asking me if I will move up to 8th grade so they can have me one more year. There is a position open, and it would be interesting (what effects would this have on their learning?) and cool (to be with one group of kids for three years, very Freedom Writer-ish). However, I think for my sanity I will need to remain in 7th grade, for now.

Today, a student I don’t know (although this happens a lot, kids say hi, come into my room for tutoring, etc. and I don’t even know who they are) came to ask me for some advice about voicing her opinion. She was upset that students are being asked to remove Peta2 stickers from their binders. She had written a letter. It needs some work, but she makes some very good points. I gave her some suggestions and told her to go for it. I think it’s really cool and the peeps I’ve shared the story with think its cool, too.

Old Friends

If any of you have read any of the stories I wrote for Windows, you will know about Gabriel.

Gabriel was my best friend growing up. A few years after high school, we lost touch. About two weeks ago, when I checked my phone after school, I had three missed calls and a voice mail from my mom.

In the voice mail, my mom starts off stating some numbers, she says them again and then says, “Ese es el numero del Gabriel.” Too bad I’m old and it was the end of the day because I almost started jumping up in down, actually, not too bad because I could have further ruined the foundation of our old building. ;)

Since then, we’ve talked, e-mailed, and texted. It’s been the coolest thing in the world. I can’t even explain how happy it has made me to be in touch with him again.

La Doctora

I got a text earlier today from my sis letting me know that our sister-friend got her Ph.D. I suppose she defended her dissertation today. How awesome is that?

Felicidades Caro!

Marjane Satrapi

2008-04-14T20:58:00.000-07:00

I was so anxious for last Saturday. Not only was I not working, I was also having a outing that entailed an author reading. I’d been looking forward to Marjane Satrapi’s reading for so long. Every time the Houston Inprint sent another e-mail advertising her reading, I’d get excited all over again.

That evening, my sis, her student, and I made our way to the Hobby Center. As they stood in line to buy books, I wandered around looking for the ticket counter only to find that I’d been right in front of it the whole time. When I got to the front of the line, I asked for two tickets. The woman replied, “We’re sold out.”

“You’re sold out?”

“Yes, but at 7:30 we will release all seats, do you want me to give you a number?”

I looked around a little disillusioned. How was it that I wasn’t going to get to see the author of one of my new favorite books? Finally, I said, “Yes, please.”

She gave me back half of an index card with #18 and Satrapi scribbled onto it. My claustrophobia kicked in so I had to make my way away from the crowds. I thought about going outside to see if there were any scalpers, but figured that it was highly unlikely. So I hung around inside and mingled with my sis’s student as my sis mingled with some of the people she knew in hopes of scoring some tickets. No such luck though.

At 7:30, we herded over to the ticket table again. It was only a matter of minutes before our number was called and we were able to get some tickets.

It was so worth it.

Satrapi is so awesome. She didn’t read from the book, but instead talked about why she chose cartoons to tell her story and how the book and movie came about. I haven’t seen the movie yet. I’m going to wait until it’s on video because I’d prefer to see it in its original language.

After the reading, there was the mandatory book signing. The line was incredibly long, but she moved us along pretty quickly. For the first time in a long time, I was so nervous and excited. She was so pleasant. I’ve ordered Embroideries off Amazon (of course B&N didn’t have it, why would they right?).

If you haven’t checked out her works, you definitely should.

Send Off

2008-03-15T22:22:00.000-07:00

The sun is up I’m so happy I could scream
And there’s no where else in the world I’d rather be
Here with you it’s perfect
It’s all I ever wanted
I almost cannot believe that it’s for real
So pinch me quick
-The Cure, Mint Car

Although many memories are associated with The Cure, today, I want to remember the summer of ‘02. The time for my imminent departure was near. My time was split between Lucy or Armie.

Lucy and I would spend hot nights packed into Speaking Rock slinging back bottles of Bud and shots with the guys who had bets going on how many girls’ pants they could get into. I don’t know if Lucy was aware of this since she always accepted their drinks, dances, and walk to her car.

Nights with Armie were always more fun. She wasn’t out to find a man. All she wanted to do was drink. Because of this, we would often change scenes and go to The Comic Strip or some dark bar to shoot some pool.

It was great send off.

Sent Home

2008-03-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

I was sent home Friday because my blood pressure was high.

I wasn’t going to talk about this here because I didn’t want people in my family to find out. At first, my reasoning was because I didn’t want them to worry about me. But the truth is that I am extremely embarrassed.

I am embarrassed that I have let myself go this far physically, mentally, and emotionally. Talking to my writing buddy today really made me take stock of what my life has become.

Teaching was never my life goal. I fell into it. It was meant to be a retention pond before going on, but it’s becoming a retention pond with no outlet. Don’t get me wrong, I love working with kids and certain kids really make me feel fortunate and happy to do my job, but something tells me it’s not meant to be my “life work.”

My writing buddy also told me that I’m failing my artistic side. And really, I can’t argue with her. Looking at this blog, I can also see the effects of my current situation and I can even track I got where I am. Sometimes, I don’t even want to blog because I know it’s going to be about work. Every other conversation that I have somehow involves work, and I’m sick of it.

As much as I’d like to give my current life the one finger salute, I know I can’t. That's not what grown ups do. Instead, there are small things that I can do to increase my quality of life. The first of which is not brining home so much work. Instead of filling up my spare time with more work so that I end up like a vegetable at the end of the day, work stays at school, and 30 minutes of writing will take it’s place. Even if I’m not exactly writing, but reading an essay on the craft, editing something, or re-reading things I feel good about.

I have also scheduled into my week three days for exercise. I know I should probably do more, but for now, I will work with that. As I learn to take things off my plate, I will be able to increase real life activities.

When I see how the quality of my life either increases or decreases, I will be more inclined to do more for myself.

Our Ass Has Hit the Floor

2008-03-04T20:13:00.001-08:00

I know that as a woman and feminist, I should have voted for Hillary. But there is that part of feminist ideology that talks about helping all people, not just some. I also know that Hillary has a lot of experience. However, when I’ve been down in the slumps after watching Sicko (which thouroughly depressed me for a while), a long day of work battling a system that doesn’t work, reading lists of the deceased in the Iraq war, the only candidate that has been able to inspire hope in me again has been Obama.

Sometimes, it’s okay for the inexperienced to try their hand at something new. As my 9th Grade World History teacher used to say, “Once your ass hits the floor, you can’t go anywhere else but up.”

Civil Duty

2008-02-18T19:10:00.000-08:00

Today I missed out on a day of “OMG I’m like a 7th grader so everything comes with a side of extra drama” because I had jury duty.

This is the first time I ever really have to show up to jury duty. In the past, I was able to get out of it because I was in college and I used to help out at the foster care my mom used to run. But now, I have no excuse. It seems sort of ironic though that the state pulls me out of work and has to pay someone else to do my work because I have to serve on a jury.

Anyway, as luck would have it, I was in the first group of people that were called out. There was a lot of standing around and waiting until we were finally released. As hard as I tried to create the sense of adventure, I couldn’t. First, I was annoyed by the lack of organization. My inner teacher was mentally organizing everything with, in my mind, fool-proof procedures. Then, there were the people who don’t know to stay to the right of the stairs. Then the greasy haired guy who tried to make small talk and the old man who wouldn’t take off his damn boots and when he finally did, put them after my coat so they ended up on top of it when they were run through the metal detector. The last straw though had to be the guy that was trying to pick up juror #2, a late 20’s petite Latina. It wouldn’t have bothered me had they not ended up around me the whole time or had I not over heard him ask her if her purse was truly a Prada and not a knock off like a Prado.

I did appreciate that the bailiff wasn’t a total jerk and that the judge was very conscious of our time. Needless to say, I didn’t get selected for the jury. We were all let go because they were able to work it out before the got around to picking jurors.

So tomorrow, it’s back to work. We have TAKS parent night tomorrow. It sucks because I found out tonight that I have to wear my sausage arm, lame staff shirt and it's the same night Obama will be speaking at the Toyota center downtown Houston. Just my luck. I’m not looking forward to spending the entire day at work tomorrow. Even though I live quite close to work, I never see the point in coming home. Well, really, I know that if I come home, I will have a real hard time going back to work.

I’m off to spend some quality time with my current obsession—Persepolis.

Another Great One Passes on

2008-02-13T18:44:00.000-08:00

Going to Austin with Gabi and Caro is always one of my favorite things. The company of course is great, but the city has this vibe to it. One of the last times we were there, I had the privilege of meeting raúl salinas.

Today, raúl salinas has passed on, but he has left behind a legacy that, through our work, should keep on for years.

OK Gambling

2008-02-07T18:17:00.000-08:00

“Come a little closer baby, I feel like laying you down…”

Smoke infests the air. It’s hard to breathe. Wedged between fiber glass and aging thighs.

From the back, I hear a twangy voice say, “That guy is hawt!”

Another cigarette is lit. A Milwaukee’s Best is popped open.

“I’m gonna win big tonight baby,” says the twangy voice.

Despite the smoke, the air is thick with anticipation of what could be. Will I win big tonight?

Another Low

2008-01-22T20:35:00.000-08:00

How sad is it that I’ve already started a countdown for the end of school?

This year has been rough to say the least. As much as I want to be the person that can, I’m not. And it’s not because I suck, but because I don’t delegate much. I’ve gotten a lot better about it, but I still don’t do it enough. I feel like I have to do it all.

All of these extra things I’ve taken on or have been handed have really taken away time from my students, and for this, I feel really bad. I know that it could be worse, but I also know that I could be better. And while I’m rocking out with some awesome lessons that don’t involve worksheets and are challenging, etc., I don’t have the time to spend with the kids. I’ve been out of class at least twice this month and will be out two more times doing extra stuff. Meetings after school and the never ending research, filing, etc, keep me from attending games, competitions, concerts. This is what I’m missing the most.

This past weekend, some of my students competed in The Future City Competition. They built a model of a city that was eco-friendly. Even though I helped out with their abstract, I missed out because I was meeting with my colleagues about a grant to some traveling this summer. Although they didn’t place, they did receive an award for Most Eco-friendly city. Really, they didn’t place because there couldn’t be two teams in the top whatever from the same school (another group placed 3rd).

I hardly get to see the girl’s group. We have yet to meet this semester. After school tutorials are a dream. Making time to meet with students is really difficult. I have to schedule it way in advance. If you look at my agenda, it’s sort of a joke.

And personal life? Hah! That’s a joke! My loved ones hardly get to hear from me on the phone much less see me in person.

I know this is a career choice that I made, and I love aspects of the job. There are days I come home with my head in the clouds because I had a good day with that kid who doesn’t get it, or a kid said/wrote something amazing, but lately, those days have been few a far between.

I just wish I could go back to my roots. Go back to being what I was at the beginning of the year. I’ve seen too much of the ugly side of education. This side makes me negative and bitchy. It makes me long for summer, but the saddest thing is that it makes me wish I didn’t do what I do.

I Kiss You on the Brain in the Shadow of the Train

2008-01-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

I spent the evening in a quaint little coffee shop in Deer Park where everyone knows everyone’s name…seriously, the do. If they don’t, they know someone who does. That’s strange to me. People think that’s how El Paso is. Many have been shocked by the size of it.

Anyway, I was at this coffee shop because my friend’s band was playing. It was pretty cool. Their chai lattes are amazingly good. They’re better than very friendly college student barrista’s at the old peep’s Starbucks.

As I was sitting there listening to them jam out, I was sort of wishing I had my notebook. When I’m around creative people, their vibe rubs off on me. However, now that I’ve sat for a while playing Super Collapse 3 (I rock at the puzzle section, I unlocked more than half!), the muse packed up and took off. I hate how she feels like she can do as she wishes. I need to learn better muse skills.

What’s up with this weather? It’s actually been cold around here, like cold enough to turn on the heater. Insane.

My Version of Counting Sheep

2008-01-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

It is 1:34 AM and I can’t get my happy self to bed. I had fallen asleep earlier, but the sound of a ringing phone woke me and I haven’t been able to go back to bed. I dabbled with some of the various notions flailing around in my brain. Still. I need to go to sleep already.

Fortunately, tomorrow will be a day of meetings and mingling. But I’ll pay for it because I’ll be slow when it comes to doing menial tasks like filing or re-organizing my great piles of junk. I have hope that with the good drink (coffee) and some catchy tunes, I’ll be able to whistle away the afternoon and items on my to-do list.

It’s rather sad that my days of nothingness have come to an end. I’m really going to miss them. I attempted to have an adventure every day, but none of my adventures were too thrilling. The coolest thing was Saturday, when I went to Niko Niko's and the owner took my order. He greeted me with a smile. When I said I would like a falafel sandwich, his facial expression portrayed pride in my choice. He also seemed very happy to be at work. That’s always nice.

This evening I was drawn out of my pj’s when Dealy-O called me up and said, “I miss you. Come meet us.”

That’s one of the nicest things someone can say in my book, so I could not object. I’m such a narcissistic bastard sometimes. We met for coffee/tea/hot chocolate. After my chai latte was prepared, the barrista sang out my order. He had a very nice voice, so nice that I heartily said, “Wow, thank you.”

Ode to My Thermos

2008-01-05T07:45:00.000-08:00

Chavela is tall and thick como una luchadora sanota. Her body glistens in the sun, but never reflects any facts. The cup attached to her top by screwing it on is big enough to hold the contents of a regular coffee cup, but you would never know that just by looking at it. I fill her up every morning to help endure our long day of incessant whining and last minute meetings. Every evening, when we get home, I take her out of my bag and rinse her out, leaving her insides to dry in preparation for the next day.

Gabriel

2008-01-04T19:59:00.001-08:00

I was going through boxes of crap today trying to clean out the closet, not because I need the space but because I really don’t need all that stuff. I’m really trying to purge my life of feelings, things, ideas that I don’t need. This particular task had been on my to-do list since last summer.

It was kind of cool to run into old journals, cards, college essays, letters, and pictures. While going through the box of photos, I ran across one of my best friend Gabriel and I at my sister’s wedding. Seeing our faces frozen still on a day that was so happy and blessed stopped me in my tracks.

Gabi was the first in our immediate family to have a real wedding. All of my other siblings had run off to City Hall to get married. I’ve always thought it was cool that she had sent me an invitation, not included me on my mom’s. Of course, I was given the option of a plus one. As soon as I got it, I knew there was only one person who could fulfill that plus one: Gabriel.

I can’t remember if he attended the mass or I picked him up before the dance and reception. What I do remember is him saying, “I’m going to dance with all of the women in your family before the night is over.”

And that he did. He danced the night away with my mom, sisters, aunts, and nieces. He even got me to dance with my dad.

Seeing that photograph also made me realize how much I really miss him. I’ve tried so hard to find him, but my searches have resulted in zilch. We didn’t have a falling out or anything, we just lost touch.

Sometimes I wonder how different life would have been if we’d stayed in touch because he’s been the one person I can honestly say was my BFF. There was nothing I couldn’t tell him, he always knew how to make me feel better, and he accepted me for me.

For a while, I didn’t think about him. My mom would sometimes ask, “Oye como estara el Gabriel? Dios lo bendiga.” It was then that the memories would rush back. Writing the story about him put some of the memories at ease. It’s weird because I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. I know that I may never see him again, but damn how I wish I would.

The First of Many Victories

2008-01-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

When I came out as an Obama supporter, many people told me I was nuts. Frankly, as much as my feminist self would like to vote for a woman, I just can’t. Hillary and I don’t agree.

Obama to me is someone who can seriously help us out. I’ll shut up now and let Mo Rocca’s words do my talking because they say it better.

Here's the thing: Hillary's the person who helps you pack boxes and organize all your shit when you're moving. No one is more dependable. Obama, on the other hand, is the guy who finds you a new place to live.

Adios Navidad

2008-01-03T20:20:00.000-08:00

I hate this time of year. All of the Christmas lights are coming down, stores are dead, and the good cheer is gone. It could potentially be a very depressing point in time. Fortunately, the depression hasn’t set in. I’m hoping it doesn’t. I have three more days before I return to work.

Speaking of returning to work, I’m sort of scared of going back. There are many tasks to be completed this spring semester and I fear that I’m going to lose some of my me time. The couple weeks before school let out, I was working 12-hour days pretty much every day. I did tell my students that I was done accepting late assignments. At least their homeroom and unbook reports. They are given deadlines for these assignments in advance. Plus, they are given time in class to complete the assignments.

I really thought that this year was going to be way better than the last two. It seems like there’s always a monkey wrench to be dealt with. There is always more that needs to be done. Or a new task that needs to be fulfilled. And it’s not such a big deal if my writing didn’t have to take the back seat to all this. Perhaps someday I will figure out how to balance life, work, and writing.

El Año Nuevo in Retrospect

2007-12-31T08:22:00.000-08:00

This morning, I woke up with a longing for a New Year’s Eve day morning with my mom. Although New Year didn’t really involve as much magic and make believe as Christmas, my mom still had some traditions/superstitions she wouldn’t let go of like the 12 grapes with 12 wishes at midnight. Some she got from the morning shows she likes to watch. We would always comment on the new rituals. Which ones we could and would like to do, but never did.

One year, when my mom was working for Mrs. Raney doing the live-in thing, my mom and I completed the following in the first couple minutes of the New Year:

Ate 12 grapes making a wish with each
Toasted with some rancid Champagne
Swept the entrance to get rid of bad/old vibes
Retrieved pennies from the potted plant with our right hand and threw them into the house

I don’t think any of this really did anything, but it was fun. After running around like maniacs, we laughed perhaps at how ridiculous it all was. Still, it was so much fun, and those couple minutes always replay in slow motion when I think of celebrating el año nuevo.

New Year

2007-12-28T08:47:00.000-08:00

I’ve never been big on New Year’s Resolutions. They seem like another thing that if I don’t get done I will beat myself up over.

Last year, I made two: work on my writing and be a better teacher. I think I did both. Sure I haven’t had anything published on my own yet, but I’ve been working on it. In fact, I have a lot of new material that I’m working on editing and work shopping. At the start of the school year, I was an awesome teacher, and I know a lot of people believe that my jump from 6th to 7th grade is something that a great teacher does. I think I pull my load and I don’t think I’ll ever really be content because there is always more that I can do in regard to my work.

Since the cana count has been increasing, in lieu of resolutions, I’m making one of those “things to do before I croak list.”

1. Ride a horse
2. Visit the Grand Canyon
3. Spend a day on the beach on the Pacific West Coast and East Coast
4. Go to as many museums as possible in NYC
5. Take a month-long vacation in Mexico
6. Go deep sea fishing
7. Pet a snake
8. Set foot on the eastern hemisphere
9. Publish a book
10.Write a story about Gabi
11.Have the office of my dreams
12.Learn to drive a motorcycle
13.Sit in the audience of a television show
14.Create a soundtrack for my life
15.Donate to a substantial amount to a charity

That’s all I can think of right now. I think this will work better for two reasons. The first is that I love making to do lists and crossing things off. There’s nothing like being able to roll your pen over a task and at the end of the day being able to condense or throw away the whole darn thing because there’s nothing left. The other reason I think this will work is because I have longer to complete this list. Sure, I could croak at any moment, but somehow, I think I’m doing this life thing for a long time.

Enjoy the last leg of ‘07 and the birth of ‘08.

Blue Christmas

2007-12-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

I don’t know if my mom loved to or felt like she had to create this sense of magic for me at Christmas time. She wasn’t like some parents now who refuse to allow their children to believe in Santa. My mom let me write letters to him, asked me what I wanted so she could tell him, and insisted that on Christmas Eve, Santa come to visit. The only difference is that I was allowed to interact with Santa.

Somewhere, sometime, someone had acquired a Santa suit, and I think it was Filly, my middle brother, who would always wear it. I don’t know if the suit had come with or without the beard, but it ended up missing the Christmas when I was five. So they ended up making do with a remnant piece of blue faux fur that had been used in the doll house my mom and brothers had made me for me.

I don’t know if it was the beard or that Santa was so tall and lanky and had eyes just like my brother, but that was the Christmas I knew, for sure, that there really was no Santa. Still, I pretended to believe because it was tradition. Being that at five, I already had a niece, I knew I couldn’t ruin this for her.

During my dark years*, I would dress up as Santa and go around delivering gifts for my nephews and my brother’s friends’ children. It was so much fun to see the look on their faces when they saw me. It made the itching below the beard and hat worth it.

So if it was out of obligation, love, or just tradition, my mom’s work churned out so much more than happy memories. If I were to ever have kids of my own, I wouldn’t hesitate to do the same con blue beard y todo.

Feliz navidad!

Three Snapshots of My Mom

2007-12-21T20:27:00.000-08:00

My mom sits across from me at the Chinese restaurant in a cramped booth. She puts a cube or wobbly cherry red Jello into her mouth. She tries to push it through the gaps where her teeth used to be, but the Jello is too slick. It slides out the side of her mouth and onto the table. We laugh and laugh.

***

We’re home alone. My mom decides we’re going to bake a chicken. She rinses it off in the sink and rubs salt and pepper on it. “Here, hold the oven bag,” she says.

I stand there, holding the bag just like she asked. She drops the chicken into the bag and it falls through the bag onto the linoleum floor. We laugh and laugh, neither of us can stop. I imitate the chicken several times as if a chicken carcass could have fallen and landed any other way. It is forever our little inside joke.

***

Mrs. Raney comes in yelling at us about something we don’t understand. We sit there and listen to her. Then my mom and I just look at each other. For some reason, a song pops into my head and I start, “Y los muchachos del barrio la llamaban loca!”

Before long, we are both singing together. Mrs. Raney responds with the same crazy look we gave her and walks away.

Gabi: A Character Study

2007-12-19T20:22:00.000-08:00

My sister smells of perfectly brewed fresh coffee and brand new books. She sounds like Arjona, Intocable, y El Trí. She looks like a mosaic with her lightning-struck hair, swimmer’s legs, mocha Frappuccino-colored skin, and chocolate chip mole. To me, she represents gall, strength, intelligence, and compassion.

Reading

2007-12-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those really long days. I didn’t have an off period because I covered a class for a colleague so that she could observe her mentee and there was a meeting during my other conference period. I ate lunch quickly, so that I could get caught up with some other things during that time.

Right after school, I had a mentor meeting. We did get this really cool gift pack of some photo albums, a journal, and a box for pics and a light dinner.

After that, I went to a local intermediate school for a reading. There weren’t a lot of people there because there was a basketball game, but the audience was quite attentive. There was this one kid there who was really cool. He was taking pics for the year book, and he seemed to be really into the whole thing.

I heard once that Cisneros said at a conference that readings drained her, but for me, they do the exact opposite. It’s so invigorating to talk to people and sign their books afterward. That’s my favorite part of the whole ordeal.

Feeling Listless: Review 2007: Home - "Investigating the difference between is and isn't."

2007-12-02T19:19:00.000-08:00

Feeling Listless: Review 2007: Home - "Investigating the difference between is and isn't."

Awesome piece by Annette.

24Hrs of No TV

2007-11-29T20:48:00.000-08:00

I've gone 24 hours without TV. I've done it before and for a longer period of time, but it's just so strange to me today.

Actually, I've been working pretty much the entire day. Here is a recap of my day:

6:10 AM Hit Snooze Button
6:20 AM Grudgingly get out of bed because the alarm is so annoying
6:55 AM Out of shower only to find the cats had knocked down the X-Mas tree
7:00 AM Pouring coffee into my thermos
7:05 AM Yelling at cats because they're trying to trip me
7:10 AM Gathering laptop, lunch, crate, purse, and work bag
7:15 AM Leaving complex for work
7:30 AM Arrive at work, sign in, greet whomever I run into
7:35 AM Rewriting daily to-do list
7:50 AM Room fills up with kids for tutoring, I try to work on to-do list
8:10 AM Bell rings, students leave, and I can get to work on fixing sub letter, alphabetizing folders, and inputing late grades for a class.
9:04 AM Bell rings, greet students, teach class
10:42 AM First class students leave, homeroom students start filing in, as I stand in the hallway colleagues asks when would be a good day to come observe my mad teaching skillz
10:46 AM Hand out Technology Survey to students, pick them up, joke around, tell them that they better be good for sub later.
11:06 AM Students leave, I run down to make extra copies of some assignments, return to classroom for meeting.
11:35 AM Meeting is over, check e-mail, each lunch as I delete and print e-mails.
11:50 AM Gather up G/T crate, late work, purse, lunch bag, and sweater and head out
12:00 PM Head to Starbucks for an afternoon fix
12:15 PM Arrive at Admin building for G/T meeting
12:30 PM Briefly discuss G/T issues with lady in charge, break out laptop and get to work on Student list and letters, ask lady in charge questions as they come up and she wanders in.
3:30 PM Head to Panera for dinner date with Dan the Man.
4:30 PM 99 Cent store to find objects for personification lesson
5:00 PM Get home, gather up laundry, check mail
5:20 PM Grade late work, log into grade book, pick up laundry
7:00 PM Work on lesson plans and resources
9:00 PM Send out millions of e-mails hoping to delegate some duties
10:00 PM Check out daily reads (blogs) and talk to Billy
11:00 PM Start thinking about heading to bed

Thank baby Jesus it's almost Saturday! Although I feel so accomplished, it sucks to work so much becuse it takes time away from the one thing I love: writing.

2007-11-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

You’ve Been Promoted!

When I’m not being obscured with expectations, I find that statement funny. People think that just because I’m teaching a higher grade that qualifies as a promotion. I have more work because I’m learning/testing the depth of the curriculum I teach, figuring out how to best teach writing for a water downed test, and learning to deal with a whole new animal then it is a promotion. But then when you look at my pay stub, it’s actually still the same. I’m getting less respect in the classroom than before and some of the people that I work with now haven’t even really acknowledged that I’m on their team. In fact, some of them still give me the very strained good morning that I got before.

Mix Ups

I’ll tell ya though, it’s been quite interesting with people getting me all mixed up about whether I’m still teaching sixth grade or now in seventh. Today, a new kid came into my class. So of course, I gave him a seat and gave him his homeroom assignment. Then, I asked him to see his schedule so that I could ask a kid to help him get to his next class and tell him where he sits for lunch. However, when I looked at his schedule, it looked strange because he had PE 3rd period and 7th graders have PE 4th. So I looked at it again, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then, it finally clicked.

“Are you a sixth grader?”

“Yes,” he said meekly.

I’m sure this kind of stuff will continue for the rest of the semester if not year.

Why I Will Continue to Teach Seventh Grade

The sixth graders that I had this year were really a great bunch. They were like no other group of students I’ve had.

So many people complained and complain about them, but the students that I had, man, they were awesome. On reading days, there were but a few who I had to get onto once in a while. For the most part, the others were very interested in reading. Their reading interests were so varied. They knew what they liked to read and made it a point to bring it to class.

Teaching them as like wearing your favorite jeans. They knew where I would give a little; I knew where they would give a little. Things went smoothly in class because I had laid out procedures that worked for both them and me.

Before I broke them the news, the thought of how they would take the news invaded my mind like Bush and Iraq. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t shake off the guilty feeling.

So many of them sent me feathers for the annual NJHS Turkey Feather Sale, and it’s a constant stream of hugs and hellos every time I set foot outside my classroom. At least one of them will visit me daily just to say hello, catch up on what they’re doing, or to tell me that they miss me.

I know that once my inherited students and I get into the swing of things, I might build the relationships (I already have with some), have smooth-running procedures, and they will learn to meet my expectations, but I still feel like my sixth graders and I were robbed. Today, when one of those sixth graders, who I really just clicked with, stopped by to say hello and chat, I knew that there is no way I can leave seventh grade the upcoming year. I’m going to have to stick to it one more year. Then after that, I can move back down, especially if I’m still convinced that I was born to teach 6th grade.

An Update for Those Who Insisted

2007-11-13T19:01:00.000-08:00

The Day of the Dead lesson was awesome. I really, really enjoyed the last week with my 6th graders. They seriously are, by far, the best group of kids I’ve had.

My first week of seventh grade ended pretty badly. The kids were worn out from testing and I was worn out from covering classes for teachers who were out. I don’t mind covering a class here and there, but twice in one week, that’s a bit excessive. Anyway, there were many times that I thought, why did I decide to move up again?

This week has been better. I hope I don’t jinx myself by saying that. It has though. I also like my schedule. I used to get a break after every class which was sweet. Now, I have all of my breaks in the morning and then I power through the afternoon. For some people this would suck, but for me, since I’m not exactly a morning person, it’s perfect.

November 1st, I got to attend a reading by Tato Laviera. That was the most amazing thing ever. It was so cool. It was even better that I got to go break bread with him afterward. If you haven’t read any of his work, you seriously need to go out and find one of his books. I highly recommend reading his poem titled “Graduation Speech.”

This weekend a group of girls from work and I are going camping. Well, we’re going city slicker camping because we rented a cabin. It should be really fun. That’s been my motivation to not leave my grading done until the end of the week. I have to stay on the ball now that I have athletes in my class. The coaches constantly want to know their grades.

Last Hurrah

2007-10-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

This week is my last week as a sixth grade teacher. Yes, normally people wait until the end of the year, but since the last time I wrote here, a 7th grade teacher has resigned her position “effective immediately.” This has, of course, left a large group of kids up a creek without a paddle. Sure, they have a sub whose been filling in with lesson plans other teachers have put together, but they’re not lesson plans for those kids. They’ve been winging it, and honestly, I don’t blame them. I mean, it’s very time consuming to plan for yourself, much less for someone else.

Anyway, as you can imagine, my do-gooder self decided to take on the challenge. Do I regret it? At times, yes, very, very much, but I can’t back down now, and I know that those 7th grade kids need a familiar face.

A new teacher has been hired to take my place in sixth grade. My current students were pretty upset over it. I told them Friday and their response was either, “Noooooooo” or “You’re a traitor!” Some of them seem to be consoled with the possibility of having me next year and others were happy to hear that I’d still be around in case they needed me. Still, telling them was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I’ve really taken the relationship of this “Rigor, Relevance, and Relationship” theme to heart and built a relationship with more kids than ever.

It seems very fitting that my last week with my students I get to work on the Day of the Dead unit. I can’t wait. I’ve been thinking about this week for about a month. This year, many of my colleagues and I have ended up in the lower part of the dip a lot earlier that November. I think many of us have made ourselves at home there (It's not true that it's just for new teachers, we all feel it). We just sit around slinging back “coffee” after “coffee.” So it’s given me time to think about Día de los muertos a lot. Tuesday we begin the preparations. I’ll try to get some pics of the altar to put up.

Low Point

2007-10-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

I’ve started monitoring comments again because of comments like the last one in my last entry. I’m happy people have religion in their lives, just don’t post it on my space…bastards.

I woke up this morning in a very reflective mood that quickly put me in a very negative state of mind. I started thinking of everything I hadn’t done and all of the things I currently can’t change about my job. At this point, all I really want is to be able to spend time in my classroom, working with my students, and planning their instruction. I’m not interested in attending another meeting or another staff development to learn another strategy. I have learned plenty of strategies in my 80+hrs of staff development this summer; I really don’t need any more for now. I promise, I’m golden.

I know it’s not anything anyone can help right now, and I’m okay now. The strategies that I can implement from today’s staff development have already been discussed and the rest are going to sit on my bookshelf until I get to them or need them.

Anyway, I had a rough couple of weeks in regard to time and Friday was just one of those days where the monkeys fling their fecal matter at the ceiling fan and it ends up all over your nice things. I decided that afternoon that this weekend I would dedicate it to my mental sanity. So I slept, read, and watched movies.

Saturday night I spent it on our new sofa reading Sherman Alexie’s The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. I read it until I was finished because I knew that otherwise, it wouldn't happen. I got it from one of the staff developments I had to attend last week. It was really entertaining. I loved that it had illustrations. I thought about not putting it on my bookshelf because it gets a little edgy, but after the conversation I had with my department head today, I think it needs to go up there. (The narrator mentions masturbation once and it’s got a few curse words.)

Saturday afternoon, we ventured out to see 3:10 to Yuma. I really enjoyed it. I’m not one to watch westerns so I was surprised that I really liked it. It also helped that Christian Bale was in it. He’s pretty easy on the eyes.

We also watched Halloween, the Rob Zombie remake. It was pretty good. I liked it a lot better than the original. Fraility was pretty good, too. Hostel left a lot to be desired. Hollywoodland was pretty unclimatic for me. I think I took a nap while it was on. Lastly, we watched a mocumentary that follows a first-year-teacher, administrator, and some three-year-teachers during a school year titled Chalk. That was really pretty good. Dan the Man was a little upset when he found out it wasn’t an actual documentary. But it was dead on with its portrayal of the first year. I was having flashbacks watching that poor teacher struggle with his students. When it was over Dan the Man asked, “So you’re still within that crucial first three year period. How likely are you to quit?”

I guess that could be one reason why I woke up acting like a grumpzilla. It could also be that we’re hitting that low point in the year. Whatever it is, I’m planning on having many more relaxing weekends. Regardless of whether I bring work home on the weekends or not, I’m still not getting home until 6 or 7 and doing more work at home, might as well start enjoying my me time. It's just one of those life lessons I need to have to collect.

Nuevas

2007-09-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

I sort of disappeared off the face of the planet after last time. I’ve just been, well, busy, as usual. It’s like it never ends. I’m not complaining, just saying.

Yesterday, my brother’s wife gave birth to their second kiddo. His name is Jorgito and he weighed 8lbs 1oz, rather exciting. She wasn’t supposed to have him for another week, but she was losing fluids so they were forced to go through with a C-section. He kept saying how he’d wished she was going to have him while I was there so I could see him, and sure enough.

So yeah, I’m going to El Paso this weekend. I’m going to read at the Great Southwest Book Fair. I’m pretty psyched. Here are the details in case you happen to be in El Paso:

Date: September 29, 2007
Time: 1:00 p.m.
Place: El Paso Public Library
Address: 501 N. Oregon, El Paso, TX 79901

Tomorrow is parent night. One of the veteran teachers came into my room and said, “I love the way your room feels. It’s so bright. I think you’re ready for tomorrow.”

All I did was slap up some student work this morning. I’ve been having them do a ton of projects with the novel we’re reading (My Father, the Angel of Death). Currently, they’re creating their own wrestler. It’s been pretty cool. Today, my appraiser walked into my room. The kids were working on their wrestler and I was organizing some folders. One kid came up to my desk to ask me a question and said, “Mrs. W is in the room.”

She walked around and talked to the kids about their wrestlers and went along her merry way. Yesterday morning, she also walked into my room as I was telling the kids that they had to read their own book (we’d just finished reading a chapter from the novel). The kids were begging for me to read them another chapter. Then they asked if they could read another chapter on their own to which, I of course, said yes. Then someone near the front told her how great the book was and I heard her say, “Yeah, I know, I’ve read it.”

I used to worry so much about the walk-thru’s and observations my first year. Last year, I stopped caring so much, and this year, I just don’t care. I have so many great kids, and I’ve become so much better about keeping them busy and entertained. There’s still the whole issue of finding fun assessments for parts of speech, but hey, I think I’m in this for the long run so maybe this coming summer I’ll focus on parts of speech.

I’m off to pack and prepare my fancy outfit for tomorrow. If you’re in Houston this weekend, don’t forget to go check out the Latino Book Festival at the George R. Brown Convention Center.

Bueno, have a good weekend.

Good Day

2007-09-12T17:45:00.001-07:00

Today I met with mom from previous post. She okayed for her kid to read two novels A Long Way from Chicago and The Watson’s Go to Birmingham—1963. She said her daughter didn’t feel comfortable reading any of the other novels. That’s fine.

In the meantime, my students are begging me to keep reading to them from My Father, the Angel of Death. Today, I had them do this activity that helps them learn to draw connections. I typed up a list of names, words, etc. from the text. Then, I had them cut out all of the words and glue them onto a large piece of paper. Tomorrow, they will have to draw lines to the words that have something in common. Some of the kids were able to start on that last step. I heard many of them saying it was fun and I even had to go over and take away an assignment from a student because we had to leave for the library.

Then, in the library, I completely lost track of the time one period. One student came up to me and said, “Ms. Baeza it’s already 1:18.”

I gathered up all my kiddies. When we were standing by the door, I said to the student who reminded me about the time, “Thank you so much. I was having such a good time I forgot about the time.”

“I know, I was having fun, too,” he replied.

It made my little teacher heart smile. I love our new librarian. I love my job, too. I like being around these kids. When we go the libaray, I dismiss from there. So I end up in the 8th grade hallway and I love standing there. So many kids say hello to me. And yesterday, the 8th grade boys had their first game (they were my students my first year) and I was so proud to see so many of them in their jerseys.

Last teacher story of the day, I promise. I have a student, who came to me about a week ago, and he’s been in all sorts of trouble. Apparently, he’s got a past or whatever. Monday I was out for a GT meeting and the sub left me his name, so I gave him detention. Anyway, after lunch some teachers asked me for his name because he’d apparently had a confrontation with another student. Earlier that day, I’d asked him to fix his pants and shoes (they like to leave them untied and show off the front of their shows; the untied is a problem b/c they might fall and the other stuff I don’t know why they tell us to tell them to fix it); he fixed them right away.

When I get everyone working, I pulled him aside. “What’s the deal?”

“Nah Ms. It’s just that the sub…”

“Look, do you want me to change my first impression of you? That first day of school, I went home and talked about you because you were so respectful and I was so impressed. You know teachers talk don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“When they say stuff about you, I always say you’re great in my class. I don’t want that to change. Can you please be the guy I remember that first day? For me?”

He looked back at me with his eyes shiny with tears and nodded his head yes. I really hope he stays out of trouble. He’s a bright kid who has it.

I write all this because this morning, I went by the store to get some flowers for my friend. Today marked the 7th anniversary of her mom’s death. On my way to and from my car, I got soaked. My shoes were wet, my pants soaked up the water up to my mid-calf, and my shirt got wet. I felt so icky. My feet hurt and the blisters on my feet from the shoes I wore on Monday were killing me. I also didn’t have a chance to get breakfast because my shopping trip took longer than planned. But I was rewarded, I made my friend smile, the cafeteria manager prepared breakfast for the staff, and I felt like I actually made somewhat of a difference today.

Parents and the New Addition

2007-09-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

If you know me in the “real world,” this will probably all be old news to you. Nonetheless, I still want to talk about it.

School has been going well. Talking with one of my good friends at school, I realized what it was that seems so off about this year; I don’t have a class that I dread. I really hope it stays that way. It makes the days go by so much faster and I think I do a better job. There are a couple kids that are difficult, but it’s all about staying calm and sticking to the consequences I’ve laid out.

I am having trouble with one parent though. Our school asks that each kid have a permission slip for each novel that we read as a class. It’s a pain in the ass, but it has to be done. After having to chase after kids all of the time last year, I decided that this year, I would send home a letter with the novels and films for the whole year at the beginning of the year and we’d be done with it. The novels we will be reading this year are My Father, the Angel of Death, A Long Way from Chicago, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, The Watsons Go to Birmingham—1963, The Westing Game, and we’ll be watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Selena.

I got back most of the letters right away and almost everyone’s parents were okay with my choices. There, as always, was that one parent that just couldn’t do it. She marked no on every single novel and yes on both films. When I asked the kid why, she said she didn’t know. I was pretty upset because well, it sorta threw off my plans. I had an idea of a backup, but I didn’t think I’d have any opposition until The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. And I could handle a novel or two, but all of them. So I had to call mom.

She told me she wanted to meet with me in person to talk about it because she felt that the novels went against her teachings. I told her I’d be available after school and she was more than welcome to stop by my room so we could talk. In the meantime, I talked to the assistant principal and grabbed a copy of all the novels for her to take if she desired.

So mom comes by after school and I try to explain a little more what the novels are about and the whole process of selection and yadda yadda. And she says, “Es que esta niña tiene una imaginacion. Aveces me asusta con las cosas que me pregunta.”

Now mind you, this kid is pretty bright and she’s a good kid. She’s one of the brightest in that class. So I don’t think that the things she’s coming up with are terrible.

Anyway, mom keeps talking and saying she’ll think about it. In the end, she takes the novels. I haven’t heard from her. I’m going to call her sometime next week and see if anything has changed. I doubt it.

At first, I was really upset. I thought, fine, if she wants her to get that kind of an education whatever. But now, that I’ve had some time to think and reflect, I can’t let the student have that kind of education. She loves to read and I need to continue to inspire her and most importantly, I have to help her keep her imagination alive. Sure it’s going to be extra work on my part, but I have to do it if I want to be half of the great teacher I aim to be.

The other thing I wanted to share is that we’ve made an addition to our little family. He came to us about two weeks ago and his name is Smokey.

First Day Part Deux

2007-08-28T18:16:00.001-07:00

I had a good first day. My kids were all sweet and nice and tried to pay attention. Some of them cracked me up. One kid was very cordial. When I went to get my homeroom class, he ended up at the front of the line. As we walked down that walkway, he said, “How has your morning been Ms. Baeza.”

There was also the kid who told our principal we’d been making collages. She walked in just to see how the kids were doing. She was impressed that they said they’d been having a great day. They were right though. It was a great day—if only I could find shoes that feel like clouds and all will be well.

One of the best things about the first day of school is seeing all the older students. Seventh graders are the best because they’re the ones that always come back. All of my former students, who I refer to as old sixth graders, wanted to come by to say hello and see the new sixth graders. Half of the ones that came by wanted to be back in my class. It’s nice to be able to turn them away because they deserve to be in a 7th grade class.